The past several weeks we have been really busy with both church and kid's activities. As I have come across different people we have been reminded that this time of year so many people are hurting and facing such heartbreaking situations or storms of life as I sometimes refer to them!
Yesterday morning, I was praying for a particular family and their heartbreaking situation. I found myself praying that the Lord would take them out of the storm and give them relief. As I prayed, the Lord laid this upon my heart and I put it as my Facebook status:
Sometimes God dissolves the storm before it comes and sometimes He calms the troubled waters BUT sometimes He allows us to be in the storm so we will feel His loving arms around us when all else is shaking around us...no matter where you are, God is there and He is holding you!
All day, this was on my mind. Most of the time I pray and ask the Lord to calm the storm or even divert it - yet would I want to miss out on the blessing of God carrying me through it? The lesson that I learned from this was that God is THERE! He is there before and after the storm - and He is there DURING the storm.
So - my prayer this Christmas season is that no matter where you find yourself you too will know that He is there! Emmanuel - God with us...has come to be WITH us before, during and after all the storms we may face!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Teachable Moment...
"Mom, I KNOW Santa is real!" smiling sweetly as I responded to Tyler "Oh really and how do you KNOW this?" "Because I read it on the internet!"
This simple comment that Tyler made to me this morning has stuck with me all day! Of course, Joel and I smiled and even chuckled a little at it but in reality - this is what many of our children believe. If I read it on the internet - it MUST be truth. While cute and over a very simple topic (in my opinion) I recognized this as a GREAT opportunity to teach Tyler about where our truth really does come from. I explained to him at the time, that not EVERYTHING on the internet is true and then proceeded to explain that Santa was a real person who died but we carry on his traditions, etc.
However, more important than this is that I teach my children where to look for ULTIMATE TRUTH....God's Word. So many things in this world scream at us and more importantly our children what truth is and without proper guidance and direction they can easily be sent in the wrong direction after something that is a lie and will ultimately lead to destruction.
"If you hold to my teaching, then you are really my disciples and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free" John 8:31-32 You see JESUS is the truth and we can trust Him. Tyler's comment this morning was simple and full of childhood anticipation and wanting to hold on to the magic of Santa. It truly was a innocent proclamation of saying - it's just GOT to be true because I want it to be and this proves it. Yet, it was a reality check and a wake up call to me - am I teaching them the true source of absolute and eternal truth? Not in the academic sense but in a spiritual sense.
I want my children to grow up knowing who is TRUTH and to learn to follow him. Today's conversation was an excellent reminder to emphasize t0 and teach my children to seek truth...
That being said - we did continue to explain to Tyler that it's ok to pretend there is a Santa and that gifts with "Santa" on them are simply gifts from someone who didn't want to be recognized!
I am so thankful to the Lord for bringing these "teachable moments"into my life - not only so I can teach my children but so my Father can teach me through them as well!
This simple comment that Tyler made to me this morning has stuck with me all day! Of course, Joel and I smiled and even chuckled a little at it but in reality - this is what many of our children believe. If I read it on the internet - it MUST be truth. While cute and over a very simple topic (in my opinion) I recognized this as a GREAT opportunity to teach Tyler about where our truth really does come from. I explained to him at the time, that not EVERYTHING on the internet is true and then proceeded to explain that Santa was a real person who died but we carry on his traditions, etc.
However, more important than this is that I teach my children where to look for ULTIMATE TRUTH....God's Word. So many things in this world scream at us and more importantly our children what truth is and without proper guidance and direction they can easily be sent in the wrong direction after something that is a lie and will ultimately lead to destruction.
"If you hold to my teaching, then you are really my disciples and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free" John 8:31-32 You see JESUS is the truth and we can trust Him. Tyler's comment this morning was simple and full of childhood anticipation and wanting to hold on to the magic of Santa. It truly was a innocent proclamation of saying - it's just GOT to be true because I want it to be and this proves it. Yet, it was a reality check and a wake up call to me - am I teaching them the true source of absolute and eternal truth? Not in the academic sense but in a spiritual sense.
I want my children to grow up knowing who is TRUTH and to learn to follow him. Today's conversation was an excellent reminder to emphasize t0 and teach my children to seek truth...
That being said - we did continue to explain to Tyler that it's ok to pretend there is a Santa and that gifts with "Santa" on them are simply gifts from someone who didn't want to be recognized!
I am so thankful to the Lord for bringing these "teachable moments"into my life - not only so I can teach my children but so my Father can teach me through them as well!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Only one more week....
of sports practices that is! I love sports and especially basketball but let me tell you, this mom is ready to not have something EVERY night of the week! With Hannah practicing or at games 5 nights a week, Kestra at tutoring 3 nights and choir one night a week, Malachi at practice once a week and the 3 younger and Joel and I at AWANA one night a week - it gets a little hectic to say the least! Thankfully, that will all slow down quite a bit next week as Hannah and Malachi will be done with basketball, Kestra will only have one week of tutoring left...ahhhh....
In January, things will slow down for the Arrington's A LOT and that will be a welcome respite! LOL...
In January, things will slow down for the Arrington's A LOT and that will be a welcome respite! LOL...
Marriage Truths...
Truth # 7 - Communicate with your husband!
I can't tell you how many times I have been mad at Joel, stomped around, gave him the silent treatment, etc and yet he had NO IDEA what was bothering me because I didn't tell him. As women, I think we often expect our men to know what we need, how we are feeling, what we expect etc and although sometimes that is the case (more and more the longer we are married) there are times that we just need to tell them what the problem is and they would be more than happy to fix it! Let me give you an example from my own marriage: when we were first married Joel would literally spend HOURS on the computer at night...I would get so upset and mad because I wanted time with ME and yet he would go to the computer. The longer this went on, the madder and more upset I became. After about 2 years into our marriage (yes, I let it build that long!) I finally blew a gasket! I came unglued! I told him that some women are jealous of other women but I was jealous of a stupid computer. Joel was floored - I mean I REALLY let him have it. His response (with tears in his eyes) " I am so sorry, I never knew it bothered you or upset you. Why didn't you say anything?" For 2 years I carried a hurt that I had no reason to carry! So we have to communicate and we need to know how our husband communicates best.
I talked with a woman last night that said if she really wants her husband to understand something - she texts him a message on his phone. At first, I wanted to say but TALK to him. However - she continued to explain that if he sees the text, he can think and then better respond. You see she has figured out a way to communicate that works for him! What a novel idea.
These are simply the beginning and a starting point. I know that not all circumstances or issues are as simple as this and I know that there isn't always a "cut and dry" answer for every issue. I do believe, however, that if one or both persons in a marriage will take the time to apply these truths - they will see a difference in their marriage.
There are definitely things that are deserving of professional counseling or intervention: certain addictions, abuse, affairs, etc so please don't hesitate to seek outside help!
This series is just intended to be a building block for any marriage...our hearts are to help families grow stronger in the Lord and with each other. Like I said in the first post - we don't have all the answers, we are still growing ourselves but we want to help any and everyone we can along the way!
I can't tell you how many times I have been mad at Joel, stomped around, gave him the silent treatment, etc and yet he had NO IDEA what was bothering me because I didn't tell him. As women, I think we often expect our men to know what we need, how we are feeling, what we expect etc and although sometimes that is the case (more and more the longer we are married) there are times that we just need to tell them what the problem is and they would be more than happy to fix it! Let me give you an example from my own marriage: when we were first married Joel would literally spend HOURS on the computer at night...I would get so upset and mad because I wanted time with ME and yet he would go to the computer. The longer this went on, the madder and more upset I became. After about 2 years into our marriage (yes, I let it build that long!) I finally blew a gasket! I came unglued! I told him that some women are jealous of other women but I was jealous of a stupid computer. Joel was floored - I mean I REALLY let him have it. His response (with tears in his eyes) " I am so sorry, I never knew it bothered you or upset you. Why didn't you say anything?" For 2 years I carried a hurt that I had no reason to carry! So we have to communicate and we need to know how our husband communicates best.
I talked with a woman last night that said if she really wants her husband to understand something - she texts him a message on his phone. At first, I wanted to say but TALK to him. However - she continued to explain that if he sees the text, he can think and then better respond. You see she has figured out a way to communicate that works for him! What a novel idea.
These are simply the beginning and a starting point. I know that not all circumstances or issues are as simple as this and I know that there isn't always a "cut and dry" answer for every issue. I do believe, however, that if one or both persons in a marriage will take the time to apply these truths - they will see a difference in their marriage.
There are definitely things that are deserving of professional counseling or intervention: certain addictions, abuse, affairs, etc so please don't hesitate to seek outside help!
This series is just intended to be a building block for any marriage...our hearts are to help families grow stronger in the Lord and with each other. Like I said in the first post - we don't have all the answers, we are still growing ourselves but we want to help any and everyone we can along the way!
Marriage Truths Cont.
Truth #3-
Place your spouse above any other person. Notice I didn't just say "any other" - The Lord is to be your first and foremost relationship, however after the Lord there is NO OTHER more important than your spouse. As a mom, this was and at times is still hard for me but it is CRITICAL to your marriage that your man knows he is the #1 person in your life. We need to carve out spaces of our time, energy, prayers, etc specifically for our husbands that no one or nothing else can creep in and fill. Yes - I know the baby needs fed, diaper changed, homework needs completed, laundry, etc. Yet - if any of these things is more important than your spouse - you have just told him that he isn't your priority and he doesn't matter. So - set a date night each week - it can be as simple as a movie at home after the kids are tucked in, a chat by the fire, or you can find other parents and trade out babysitting - let them watch your kids at their house and then have a date at home...you get the idea. Just know that hubby needs to have that place of priority!
Truth # 4
Eliminate ANYTHING that may be stealing your heart, time, money away from your marriage. This could be something like drugs, pornography, drinking or it may be something not so "big" such as reading books, being on the internet, a hobby, etc. This doesn't mean that you can't do these hobbies (things of a sinful nature MUST be eliminated!) BUT are they in a place more important than your marriage and time with your spouse? Where is your heart truly focused?
Truth #5
Pray not only FOR your spouse but pray WITH your spouse! There is nothing Joel and I have done together that compares to praying together. When we are kneeling before our King and seeking Him and His will together - it truly does unite us and strengthen our marriage! Make it a regular habit to PRAY TOGETHER!
Truth #6
The hard times will come - determine to face them TOGETHER not seperate! It is not a matter of if but when. However, making a decision before the hard times hit (or now if you are in them) that you are going to stand together and stay together through them will make all the difference. Joel and I made this decision before we ever said our vows that no matter what came our way there would be no other way to face it than together! We have faced numerous financial hardships (eviction, repossession of our car, etc), we have faced serious health issues with one of our children (see post on Tyler), we have faced numerous unexpected and unwanted moves, and yes these have been hard. They have put our marriage and our relationship with the Lord to the test but we went through them together. There was one time after a particularly hard time financially that I emotionally detached myself from my husband and I will tell you it took A LOT to get that back! I felt abandoned and alone and like I was drowning - fortunately through the love of our Lord and a very understanding husband - those wounds have been healed but not without some pain. So make the decision to do it together and remember to always go back to Truth #5!!!
That is all I can type for now - hopefully I will conclude this series later today or tomorrow! Know you are prayed for!!!!
Place your spouse above any other person. Notice I didn't just say "any other" - The Lord is to be your first and foremost relationship, however after the Lord there is NO OTHER more important than your spouse. As a mom, this was and at times is still hard for me but it is CRITICAL to your marriage that your man knows he is the #1 person in your life. We need to carve out spaces of our time, energy, prayers, etc specifically for our husbands that no one or nothing else can creep in and fill. Yes - I know the baby needs fed, diaper changed, homework needs completed, laundry, etc. Yet - if any of these things is more important than your spouse - you have just told him that he isn't your priority and he doesn't matter. So - set a date night each week - it can be as simple as a movie at home after the kids are tucked in, a chat by the fire, or you can find other parents and trade out babysitting - let them watch your kids at their house and then have a date at home...you get the idea. Just know that hubby needs to have that place of priority!
Truth # 4
Eliminate ANYTHING that may be stealing your heart, time, money away from your marriage. This could be something like drugs, pornography, drinking or it may be something not so "big" such as reading books, being on the internet, a hobby, etc. This doesn't mean that you can't do these hobbies (things of a sinful nature MUST be eliminated!) BUT are they in a place more important than your marriage and time with your spouse? Where is your heart truly focused?
Truth #5
Pray not only FOR your spouse but pray WITH your spouse! There is nothing Joel and I have done together that compares to praying together. When we are kneeling before our King and seeking Him and His will together - it truly does unite us and strengthen our marriage! Make it a regular habit to PRAY TOGETHER!
Truth #6
The hard times will come - determine to face them TOGETHER not seperate! It is not a matter of if but when. However, making a decision before the hard times hit (or now if you are in them) that you are going to stand together and stay together through them will make all the difference. Joel and I made this decision before we ever said our vows that no matter what came our way there would be no other way to face it than together! We have faced numerous financial hardships (eviction, repossession of our car, etc), we have faced serious health issues with one of our children (see post on Tyler), we have faced numerous unexpected and unwanted moves, and yes these have been hard. They have put our marriage and our relationship with the Lord to the test but we went through them together. There was one time after a particularly hard time financially that I emotionally detached myself from my husband and I will tell you it took A LOT to get that back! I felt abandoned and alone and like I was drowning - fortunately through the love of our Lord and a very understanding husband - those wounds have been healed but not without some pain. So make the decision to do it together and remember to always go back to Truth #5!!!
That is all I can type for now - hopefully I will conclude this series later today or tomorrow! Know you are prayed for!!!!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A heartbreaking trend...
The past several months Joel and I have had heavy hearts as we have seen more and more marriages either falling apart or ending. It is heartbreaking to observe so many we know hurting and experiencing the crumbling of their marriage.
As we have seen this and walked alongside some, we couldn't help but ask ourselves what is happening and what can we do to stop it? It seems to be that divorce, separation, or living in the same house with no real love or joy are now becoming the norm and it is frightening to say the least. What is even more alerting is the fact that these are not marriages among those who don't know the Lord but they are Christian marriages, marriages where God was the center at one point but He has been removed or put on the outskirts.
Although we don't have the all the answers and we are certainly continuing to learn in our own marriage - we do feel that God in His Word has a LOT to say about marriage and we have learned some lessons in our own marriage that have strengthed it and we believe have helped us withstand the storms of life.
My heart in particular has been so heavy with the hurt that I have seen women go through and so I would like to just share with you all some truths that I have seen work in my own marriage. I am hoping to do this through a series of posts within the next week...
Truth # 1:
In order for marriage to truly work, it must be based with God in the center. I have seen no better illustration of this than the picture of a triangle. As you look at a triangle each of the two sides reach toward the top or the peak. Replace the sides with a man and woman and God at the peak. As a man and a wife grow and become closer to God, then they will become closer to one another. It is inevitable. Unfortunately, what we often do is stay at the base and expect our husband or wife to come to us. We focus on what WE need and what WE want and forget to focus on the Lord. As you invest and grow in your relationship with God, He will help you to love your spouse more and more.
Truth # 2:
Closely related to Truth # 1 - Truth #2 is this - Marriage is NOT ABOUT YOU. When we realize that marriage is about our husband's needs and wants first then we can show them the love that Jesus gave us. When God gave His only son - it was not Himself that He was focused on - it was OUR NEED for a Savior. In marriage - we need to esteem our spouse more highly than ourselves. We need to learn to put his needs above our own and in doing so - we will experience a love like no other.
I am going to leave you with those two truths for now. My prayer is that no matter where your marriage is - whether strong and firm or whether falling apart - you will take the time to pray about these truths and what God wants to show you through them. Please feel free to either e-mail me arringtonmom@yahoo.com or post a comment about how Joel and I can pray for your marriage specifically and know this - you are not alone. Every marriage goes through hard times, every person hurts - it is what we do when these times come that makes the difference. Will you turn your marriage, your hurts, your pain, your life over to the ONE who can heal and restore?
As we have seen this and walked alongside some, we couldn't help but ask ourselves what is happening and what can we do to stop it? It seems to be that divorce, separation, or living in the same house with no real love or joy are now becoming the norm and it is frightening to say the least. What is even more alerting is the fact that these are not marriages among those who don't know the Lord but they are Christian marriages, marriages where God was the center at one point but He has been removed or put on the outskirts.
Although we don't have the all the answers and we are certainly continuing to learn in our own marriage - we do feel that God in His Word has a LOT to say about marriage and we have learned some lessons in our own marriage that have strengthed it and we believe have helped us withstand the storms of life.
My heart in particular has been so heavy with the hurt that I have seen women go through and so I would like to just share with you all some truths that I have seen work in my own marriage. I am hoping to do this through a series of posts within the next week...
Truth # 1:
In order for marriage to truly work, it must be based with God in the center. I have seen no better illustration of this than the picture of a triangle. As you look at a triangle each of the two sides reach toward the top or the peak. Replace the sides with a man and woman and God at the peak. As a man and a wife grow and become closer to God, then they will become closer to one another. It is inevitable. Unfortunately, what we often do is stay at the base and expect our husband or wife to come to us. We focus on what WE need and what WE want and forget to focus on the Lord. As you invest and grow in your relationship with God, He will help you to love your spouse more and more.
Truth # 2:
Closely related to Truth # 1 - Truth #2 is this - Marriage is NOT ABOUT YOU. When we realize that marriage is about our husband's needs and wants first then we can show them the love that Jesus gave us. When God gave His only son - it was not Himself that He was focused on - it was OUR NEED for a Savior. In marriage - we need to esteem our spouse more highly than ourselves. We need to learn to put his needs above our own and in doing so - we will experience a love like no other.
I am going to leave you with those two truths for now. My prayer is that no matter where your marriage is - whether strong and firm or whether falling apart - you will take the time to pray about these truths and what God wants to show you through them. Please feel free to either e-mail me arringtonmom@yahoo.com or post a comment about how Joel and I can pray for your marriage specifically and know this - you are not alone. Every marriage goes through hard times, every person hurts - it is what we do when these times come that makes the difference. Will you turn your marriage, your hurts, your pain, your life over to the ONE who can heal and restore?
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