So, what about church? What do you think about it? Seriously....
Is it a place you go on Sunday just to say you went?
Is it a place you go so you can have your weekly social hour?
Perhaps you go when it's convenient - you know, the kids are up anyway, we have nothing better to do...
Or maybe you go "because we have always gone."
A better question yet - WHY NOT CHURCH?
Have you been hurt or offended by a person/leader at church?
Maybe you didn't like the music or the preacher went to long?
Maybe your friends don't go, so why go?
Perhaps there is a sporting event that is taking place and you feel the need to go there?
It's the only day you have as a family....let's relax at home?
As a minister's wife and before that as a deacon's daughter....I have at least thought ALL of the above and at some point perhaps they have all been true. However, the older I get and the more I grow closer to Jesus...the more I realize that church is family. I am NOT talking about a building that you attend on Sunday morning....I am talking about the body, the people, that comprise what is the CHURCH.
Recently, I heard it said that the reason attendance is down is because people aren't committed to their churches...I agree but I think there is more to it.
Let me ask you this...Why family?
Think about it...does your family EVER offend you? Do you get tired of listening to the same old thing? Has there ever been a time where you wanted to stay home from a family event and didn't simply because it was FAMILY? For the most part, we are committed to family. We will fight HARD for a relationship just because they are our FAMILY.
I know this from my own experience as well as from others. I have a close friend who has gone through some REALLY tough extended family issues...to the point of sister-in-laws criticizing, siblings judging, etc...It would have been easy for her to say "Forget it...their loss." Yet, I watched a truly amazing thing...she FOUGHT for a relationship, she worked to love in spite of disagreement, she reached out instead of pulling away. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY
Back to the church....What IF we saw a church as FAMILY? What if instead of comparing notes on what church is doing what programs and which church has the most to offer - we instead looked and said "Where can I contribute to this FAMILY?" Once in a church, what if instead of throwing our hands up and saying "I'm outta here" and walking away - we FOUGHT for relationships, we worked at it, we loved, we reached out...suddenly the stakes just got higher.
I am NOT talking about simple attendance on Sunday morning...although that is important. Anyone can get up and tolerate an hour or two at a church. What I am talking about is investing in a FAMILY. Putting their needs ahead of our own...reaching out to them no matter the cost, fighting for the relationship.
This issue has me up at this crazy hour of 4:30 in the morning...well actually since like 2:00. Anyway, as I lie in bed TRYING to go back to sleep I still wrestled with this whole - church attendance/commitment thing. As is typically the case, I knew that if I couldn't sleep God must have something to show me. I got up and after taking our puppy out I began really seeking what God was wanting me to hear....
Acts 2: 42 "And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to the prayers."
Acts 2:46 "EVERY day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple complex and broke bread from house to house. They ate their food with a joyful and humble attitude."
As I read these verses, and then the commentary in my Bible - a few key points caught my attention.
First there were FOUR things that they DEVOTED (COMMITMENT) themselves to:
1.) Teaching of the Apostles - ie. Sunday morning church, Bible Studies, Small Groups.
2.) Fellowship - ie parties, socials, special events
3.) Breaking of Bread - they ATE together, they spent time around the dinner table, like EVERY family should.
4.) Prayer - They were COMMITTED to times of prayer.
Beyond these four things there was an amount of time and places that they met:
1.) EVERY DAY....church was a FIRST priority, before anything else. They didn't "fit it in" they instead made it FIRST. It was a DAILY thing to be together as a church family...not a once or twice a week thing.
2.) FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE - Did you see that? They were in each others homes, daily. Like a FAMILY should be. They were JOYFUL with each other.
I have to say - some of these hit me HARD. As I was lying awake and thinking of our church family, I was quick to get frustrated and angry and start saying "Well they should..." and then I read these points...
Am I eating with my church family? Am I praying? Am I devoted to teaching - not just going since I am a minister's wife? Am I a part of fellowships with a JOYFUL attitude? Am I inviting people to break bread in MY home? Am I putting my church family FIRST EVERY DAY?
Shaking head in shame...no, not like the church in Acts and not like the Bible commands. Oh sure, I am frustrated with attendance, I get more than a little discouraged to hear of a family going to another church for whatever reason, I am looking for the right "program" to attract families....but am I DOING IT GOD'S way?
Being on staff, Joel and I have an inside close up look at how churches are struggling both in growth and financially. We are more than aware of the stark budget cuts and having to trim ministry things here and there and to be honest it DOES get discouraging...but then I come to Acts chapter 2 and I realize it's not about the amount of money our church has - PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND _ YOU NEED TO TITHE (that's a whole different topic) but money doesn't make the church grow. Yes, money helps expand the ways a church can do missions and reach out but that isn't the key to a growing church.
At the end of Acts 2 it says "They ate their food with a joyful and humble attitude, praising God and having favor with all the people. And EVERY day the Lord added to them those who were being saved." vs 46b -47.
I have this hunch, okay more than a hunch, belief - that IF we were to do what the church in Acts did - our churches would be overflowing. Instead, we have allowed work, sports, relaxation, entertainment, etc to become first and put the FAMILY last...both biologically speaking and the church family.
Here's the challenge to myself and to you:
1.) Find a church family that you can be COMMITTED to - in the good, the bad, the ugly. Will you disagree? Yep! Will you get angry and frustrated? Yep! Will you be blessed beyond measure? ABSOLUTELY! Be committed - don't give up on your church family when things are down or hard. STAY IN AND FIGHT...be like my friend and WORK toward a relationship and unity.
2.) Open your HOME on a regular basis. This is a tough one for me...I have four kids and my home is often not clean (okay pretty much NEVER clean). I have a REALLY small house - it's crowded with 6 of us! I don't like to cook...the excuses go on and on...but I can't ignore Acts 2 when it says THEY MET IN HOMES....I want my home to be a place we can break bread together and be a part of each others daily lives.
3.) EVERY day connect with someone within your church family. A phone call. A cup of coffee. A text message. A facebook post. A lunch date. Somehow, someway, connect EVERY DAY!
4.) Make your church your FIRST commitment - not an "if it fits in". When your church is having an event make sure that you and your family are there! Make Sunday a CHURCH with NO exceptions type commitment...that means YES you tell the coach your daughter can't play in the softball tournament if it is on Sunday. That means that YES you are there on Wednesday nights even if you are missing an athletic event or some other thing. When you look at the calendar for the month - the church events are the FIRST things written in - not the last!
As the social/event/calendar coordinator of the Arrington Family - this is my challenge as well. Yes, we are on staff so in a sense we or at minimum Joel - is usually at all church events but I want more. I want a FAMILY relationship, a committed attitude. I want to be reaching out through my home, to be praying with and eating with church family. I want to CONNECT EVERY DAY!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
What if I did what I could?
I am a sucker for a good fictional story...I really am! I have ALWAYS loved to read and most definitely fiction is my favorite. I can just get completely and totally lost in a good book. In fact, one of the funniest stories regarding my reading obsession was as a young teen I prayed for the characters in my book at our family breakfast table...Yep! True story.
Yet, as much as I love to read it is often hard for me to get into a book that isn't fiction that doesn't tell a story...however, the book "She did what she could" by Elisa Morgan has reached out and grabbed me. It's a short little book - just over 100 pages. I was given it for Christmas by my sister.
The background of the book is the story of Mary in Mark 14:3-9. Having been a Christian for over 30 years and having grown up in a Christian family, for the most part I think I have heard or read almost all the stories in the Bible. However, this particular story was one that if I have read it I certainly didn't remember it. The scene is Jesus and many of His followers reclining a dinner table. As was custom, women were in the background and not necessarily a part of the meal. Yet, Mary knows and realizes who Jesus is. She quietly and yet with determination goes to him, breaks open a jar of nard and pours it over His head. Those at the table are indignant! How could she waste such expensive oil? Yet Jesus says these words that are SO captivating...
"Leave her alone. Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me? You will always have the poor among you, and you can help them whenever you want to. But you will not always have me. She did what she could and has anointed my body for burial ahead of time. I tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed."
Without going into the entire premise for the book, you can read it for yourself, let me just highlight what the Lord has shown me through this passage:
1.) "Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me?" - Confession time...I often find myself "criticizing" other believers and what or how they give. I can even say - why wouldn't they save that for people who need it - why did they donate it to this particular ministry and not that one. Yet, God alone knows their heart and it is HIS to receive as He wishes.
2.) "She did what she could..." - oh this resonated for me. I am NOT the picture of a minister's wife. I don't play the piano or sing, I don't like to cook, I am horrible at sending cute little cards to those who miss Sunday School, I am not creative in doing a bulletin boards, I don't know cutesy little crafts that kids can do, I don't sew costumes for the children's programs, I am not quiet and behind the scenes, I do speak my mind and later regret it...etc. So, when God revealed to me that I would be a minister's wife for life...that was hard to swallow. I was a lot like Moses - a long list of what I COULDN'T do. Somehow, in all His grace and mercy God reached down and sort of said "Are you done telling me what you can't do? I am ready to show you what you can do!" As I read this book, I was reminded that instead of focusing on what I can't do - God wants me to do what I CAN do! I can listen, I can organize, I can type, I can teach a Bible Study, I can go help a new mom with household chores, I can babysit so that same mom can have time to herself, I can encourage...He only asks for me to do what I can do in that moment at that point in time.
3.) "wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed." Notice that her deed was a small one - she only anointed him with oil and yet her deed is still remembered. A small, little deed. Something that she probably thought insignificant and unimportant but she felt led to do - remembered for all time. I don't want to be remembered for the amount of my tithe, I don't want to be remembered for the wife that I am, I don't want to be remembered for the hours I donated...when people discuss my life - I pray that they will say "She did what she could, with what she had, in the time she was given." Nothing more, nothing less.
As I look at this book - my prayer is that I will chose every moment of every day to do what I can for the the Kingdom of God. May I no longer focus on the things I can't do but instead choose to do what I can in that moment.
Yet, as much as I love to read it is often hard for me to get into a book that isn't fiction that doesn't tell a story...however, the book "She did what she could" by Elisa Morgan has reached out and grabbed me. It's a short little book - just over 100 pages. I was given it for Christmas by my sister.
The background of the book is the story of Mary in Mark 14:3-9. Having been a Christian for over 30 years and having grown up in a Christian family, for the most part I think I have heard or read almost all the stories in the Bible. However, this particular story was one that if I have read it I certainly didn't remember it. The scene is Jesus and many of His followers reclining a dinner table. As was custom, women were in the background and not necessarily a part of the meal. Yet, Mary knows and realizes who Jesus is. She quietly and yet with determination goes to him, breaks open a jar of nard and pours it over His head. Those at the table are indignant! How could she waste such expensive oil? Yet Jesus says these words that are SO captivating...
"Leave her alone. Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me? You will always have the poor among you, and you can help them whenever you want to. But you will not always have me. She did what she could and has anointed my body for burial ahead of time. I tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed."
Without going into the entire premise for the book, you can read it for yourself, let me just highlight what the Lord has shown me through this passage:
1.) "Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me?" - Confession time...I often find myself "criticizing" other believers and what or how they give. I can even say - why wouldn't they save that for people who need it - why did they donate it to this particular ministry and not that one. Yet, God alone knows their heart and it is HIS to receive as He wishes.
2.) "She did what she could..." - oh this resonated for me. I am NOT the picture of a minister's wife. I don't play the piano or sing, I don't like to cook, I am horrible at sending cute little cards to those who miss Sunday School, I am not creative in doing a bulletin boards, I don't know cutesy little crafts that kids can do, I don't sew costumes for the children's programs, I am not quiet and behind the scenes, I do speak my mind and later regret it...etc. So, when God revealed to me that I would be a minister's wife for life...that was hard to swallow. I was a lot like Moses - a long list of what I COULDN'T do. Somehow, in all His grace and mercy God reached down and sort of said "Are you done telling me what you can't do? I am ready to show you what you can do!" As I read this book, I was reminded that instead of focusing on what I can't do - God wants me to do what I CAN do! I can listen, I can organize, I can type, I can teach a Bible Study, I can go help a new mom with household chores, I can babysit so that same mom can have time to herself, I can encourage...He only asks for me to do what I can do in that moment at that point in time.
3.) "wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed." Notice that her deed was a small one - she only anointed him with oil and yet her deed is still remembered. A small, little deed. Something that she probably thought insignificant and unimportant but she felt led to do - remembered for all time. I don't want to be remembered for the amount of my tithe, I don't want to be remembered for the wife that I am, I don't want to be remembered for the hours I donated...when people discuss my life - I pray that they will say "She did what she could, with what she had, in the time she was given." Nothing more, nothing less.
As I look at this book - my prayer is that I will chose every moment of every day to do what I can for the the Kingdom of God. May I no longer focus on the things I can't do but instead choose to do what I can in that moment.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Let's have a recap of 2012....
2012
Although I have blogged some of the big points of 2012...I thought I would take this time and recap for those of you who want to know where the Arrington family is at and where we have been!
January: Found us settled in our new home of Borger, Tx. We enjoyed the fact that we no longer had to shovel ourselves out of the driveway, while at the same time missing the snowy mountains of Colorado! Another biggie for January was the decision to bring Hannah home for the remaining part of her freshman year...although an adjustment, it has turned out beautifully!
February: Not much happened in February other than cold temperatures and fun times at home.
March: Hannah and Malachi had the opportunity to go to Laredo Tx on a mission trip with our church. Laredo is on the Mexico/Texas border and resembles more of Mexico than Texas. This was a growing and stretching experience for them as it was the first mission trip they had gone on without Joel or I there with them! Hannah looks forward to continuing her learning of the Spanish language so that she can share with more people as God opens the door.
April: Joel was able to travel to his first children's ministry conference in Atlanta, Ga and God reaffirmed his desire to reach families! Meanwhile, Kestra was able to re-enter the world of softball which she has missed since living in Arkansas and Malachi and Tyler both jumped in on some soccer action!
May: Hannah turned 15! Where did the years go? Tyler was baptized - being the last of our four children to publicly profess his faith. Joel had the honor of baptizing him and we were blessed that my parents could join us for this moment!
June: Began the first of a crazy summer full of camps and trips! Tyler was able to attend Sonlight Christian Camp in Pagosa Springs thanks to a generous scholarship and he LOVED it! We are hoping to send him again this summer but aren't sure yet. Meanwhile - Hannah, Malachi, and Kestra all went to youth camp in the Houston area. Again - a first for them without Joel and I as leaders. With all four kids gone for a week - Joel and I were able to enjoy some "us" time and even got away for a night in Amarillo! Tyler spent his 11th birthday with Grandparents and got more than just a little spoiled!
July: We traveled to Colorado for the fourth and had the opportunity to celebrate the fourth of July with family in Silverton, Co. Upon returning from that trip, Kestra and I headed out to Sherman Tx for a children's camp - it was a great time for us and we really enjoyed it. Everyone with the exception of Hannah got to go to another Children's camp here in the area. Malachi went as a Jr Counselor. While we were gone, Hannah had her first go at being "home alone"! Thanks to some church family checking in on her - she did AMAZING! The last of July had myself and the three older ones off to Arlington, Tx for a youth mission trip. It was simply AWESOME to experience third world type conditions right here in our own state - we hope to go again this summer!!! Malachi turned 14 bringing home the reality that my babies aren't so little any more! Joel also celebrated his 37th birthday complete with a surprise party put on by parents of our children's ministry!
August: The definite highlight for all of us was WALT DISNEY WORLD! This was the first time for the younger three to fly on an airplane and a first for everyone except Joel to go to Disney (well, I went as a kid but don't really remember it). So many memories were made and it was a FANTASTIC way to end the summer! Also in August, Hannah and Malachi started school through Texas Virtual Academy. TXVA is an on-line K-12 school that allows for the academics of public school but in a home environment. We are LOVING it! I act as a monitor or aide while the kids have actual teachers on-line. Both Hannah and Malachi have adjusted well to this type of school and their grades are so great! Kestra and Tyler continued on at Borger schools and are doing great!
September: The biggest highlight was that Joel got to travel to Zimbabwe Africa with our Pastor and 3 other men. The Lord laid Zimbabwe on my heart back in 2010. After returning, I said that I would go back in 2012...the Lord fulfilled this by allowing Joel to go in 2012 and thus uniting us in our desire to continue missions to the country of Zimbabwe. We don't know when but we are both committed to returning to Zim in the coming years!
October: After a busy August and September - October was a welcome down time for us of regrouping.
November: Back in the summer God planted the idea with Joel of a time of celebrating the harvest in a unique way with a western flair. This came to pass in the form of our Boots N Jeans weekend in November where the Bar D Wranglers came from Durango Co and we had a Chuckwagon dinner! Such a fun time! We also celebrated Kestra's 13th birthday - YIKES 3 teens - as well as Thanksgiving with Joel's parents. Kestra also made the Jr High Basketball team adding to her sports!
December: Parties, Dinners, Parties! One of the definite perks of ministry life is the many parties you are invited to and get to participate in at Christmas! We also enjoyed a simpler family Christmas and time with my sister and parents in Plano, Tx. I celebrated my 38th birthday and am just so blessed by where God has me in life!
2013 - we don't know all that God has in store but we are anxiously awaiting to see! Things we are looking forward to this next year:
Hannah will turn 16 and most likely get her license!
Malachi will turn 15 and will be working toward getting his as well as starting HS!
More camps and trips through church
Joel potentially completing his Bachelor's Degree through Liberty University!
A visit with close friends from college in May
Joel performing his first wedding on his birthday in July!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Simplify Christmas...Weird I know!!!
Each year, I have a picture in my head of what Christmas time at the Arringtons will look like. The picture in my mind is probably similar to what you picture or maybe even have...here are some of the things in Christmas in my head:
A LARGE beautiful tree - complete with matching ornaments, and beautifully wrapped presents even in matching paper....
The smell of many homemade sweets baking and sweet smiling children awaiting....
Christmas music playing softly....
A clean house....
A crackling fire that is smelling oh so like the mountains....
Christmas cards/letters mailed out with this adorable family picture on them
And of course SNOW (ok, not in my control but in my mind!)
Anyway - you get the idea right? Well the problem with this beautiful Christmas picture is well, ummm....it really hasn't happened in well like....ok well pretty much not ever. I can't pin point it other than to say most of the time life just doesn't match up with the picture in my mind.
A few years ago, as Joel and I began to talk about gifts for the kids, and our Christmas budget I came across this great idea on the internet to give your kids 3 gifts. Gold - something they want; Frankincense - something they wear; and Myhr - something to help them grow spiritually. So, that has worked for the most part and we love it!! This was the beginning of a journey to "re-think" Christmas at the Arringtons.
This year, our budget has been really tight. Now, some of that was in a trip to Disney World which we LOVED and I wouldn't trade for anything but a lot of it has just been life and unexpected expenses. As we neared the holidays...I found myself a little down because slowly, one by one, the things in my picture of Christmas were just not going to happen....
We don't have a Big tree...in fact, we have no tree.
We don't have a fireplace and thus no fire...
The house isn't clean but only picked up
Baking just hasn't happened
Snow in West Texas???
Christmas cards...yeah that one NEVER happens! LOL
There are no matching presents carefully wrapped
Before I go on,...let me explain something. Joel and I have been on a quest. A quest to live a life that is simplified, that is focused on Christ like living, and that seeks to create a "new" normal for us. We are revamping our budget in BIG ways, we are rethinking how and why we do things and more than anything we want our life to reflect Christ in EVERY area. With that in mind...we have chosen to simplify what the world defines as Christmas....Here's how:
1.) We are celebrating gifts with our children in January and letting December be all about Jesus and family. So, other than some small very token type gifts our kids aren't opening presents until then. We have explained to them that Christmas is about Christ - not us. I won't say they cheerfully accepted this, but they are warming to the idea. I won't even say this will be a yearly thing - just where we are THIS year.
2.) The money we would spend on gifts - we have split between giving to a single mom with 5 children and using to travel to spend time with family.
3.) We officially are done with Santa - not only do our kids now know he isn't real but he just gets far too much emphasis.
4.) We aren't "over indulging" in the amount and types of foods we bought for the holidays - just the normal everyday budget friendly eating. (of course, we do enjoy the yummy food at parties!)
5.) We are THOROUGHLY enjoying quiet nights and days at home with the kids filled with movies and board games.
6.) We are enjoying time talking with our kids about what Christmas is REALLY about.
I know this is weird and it is so very different. It has been hard for me to adjust to in all honesty - however, based on events the past week - I am so thankful God has me in this place. The tragedy in Connecticut has our entire Nation hugging children just a little tighter. In addition, a friend from High School died very suddenly and unexpectedly just yesterday.
Things like this make me realize something - I want my children to experience the joy of giving and building relationships. I want them to see Christmas as a time to give away and not get. To focus on a Savior and not the shopping and the stress. Please know, we don't frown upon traditional Christmas activities by ANY means. Nor do we think everyone needs to simplify. Next year - my Christmas may look a little more like that picture - or it may not.
My point is this - there is no tradition or expectation of the Christmas Season that should take away from the joy of Christ and giving to others. If circumstances in your life have forced you to have just a smaller than normal Christmas remember the humble stable where it all began. It wasn't in a decorated house, there were no lights on the tree, or cookies baking in the oven. In fact, there were no presents that first night (the wise-men arrived two years later). It was a quiet peaceful serene moment...the focus on a small baby.
Each year we "give" Jesus a gift in his stocking - this year my gift is simply a simplified Christmas!
A LARGE beautiful tree - complete with matching ornaments, and beautifully wrapped presents even in matching paper....
The smell of many homemade sweets baking and sweet smiling children awaiting....
Christmas music playing softly....
A clean house....
A crackling fire that is smelling oh so like the mountains....
Christmas cards/letters mailed out with this adorable family picture on them
And of course SNOW (ok, not in my control but in my mind!)
Anyway - you get the idea right? Well the problem with this beautiful Christmas picture is well, ummm....it really hasn't happened in well like....ok well pretty much not ever. I can't pin point it other than to say most of the time life just doesn't match up with the picture in my mind.
A few years ago, as Joel and I began to talk about gifts for the kids, and our Christmas budget I came across this great idea on the internet to give your kids 3 gifts. Gold - something they want; Frankincense - something they wear; and Myhr - something to help them grow spiritually. So, that has worked for the most part and we love it!! This was the beginning of a journey to "re-think" Christmas at the Arringtons.
This year, our budget has been really tight. Now, some of that was in a trip to Disney World which we LOVED and I wouldn't trade for anything but a lot of it has just been life and unexpected expenses. As we neared the holidays...I found myself a little down because slowly, one by one, the things in my picture of Christmas were just not going to happen....
We don't have a Big tree...in fact, we have no tree.
We don't have a fireplace and thus no fire...
The house isn't clean but only picked up
Baking just hasn't happened
Snow in West Texas???
Christmas cards...yeah that one NEVER happens! LOL
There are no matching presents carefully wrapped
Before I go on,...let me explain something. Joel and I have been on a quest. A quest to live a life that is simplified, that is focused on Christ like living, and that seeks to create a "new" normal for us. We are revamping our budget in BIG ways, we are rethinking how and why we do things and more than anything we want our life to reflect Christ in EVERY area. With that in mind...we have chosen to simplify what the world defines as Christmas....Here's how:
1.) We are celebrating gifts with our children in January and letting December be all about Jesus and family. So, other than some small very token type gifts our kids aren't opening presents until then. We have explained to them that Christmas is about Christ - not us. I won't say they cheerfully accepted this, but they are warming to the idea. I won't even say this will be a yearly thing - just where we are THIS year.
2.) The money we would spend on gifts - we have split between giving to a single mom with 5 children and using to travel to spend time with family.
3.) We officially are done with Santa - not only do our kids now know he isn't real but he just gets far too much emphasis.
4.) We aren't "over indulging" in the amount and types of foods we bought for the holidays - just the normal everyday budget friendly eating. (of course, we do enjoy the yummy food at parties!)
5.) We are THOROUGHLY enjoying quiet nights and days at home with the kids filled with movies and board games.
6.) We are enjoying time talking with our kids about what Christmas is REALLY about.
I know this is weird and it is so very different. It has been hard for me to adjust to in all honesty - however, based on events the past week - I am so thankful God has me in this place. The tragedy in Connecticut has our entire Nation hugging children just a little tighter. In addition, a friend from High School died very suddenly and unexpectedly just yesterday.
Things like this make me realize something - I want my children to experience the joy of giving and building relationships. I want them to see Christmas as a time to give away and not get. To focus on a Savior and not the shopping and the stress. Please know, we don't frown upon traditional Christmas activities by ANY means. Nor do we think everyone needs to simplify. Next year - my Christmas may look a little more like that picture - or it may not.
My point is this - there is no tradition or expectation of the Christmas Season that should take away from the joy of Christ and giving to others. If circumstances in your life have forced you to have just a smaller than normal Christmas remember the humble stable where it all began. It wasn't in a decorated house, there were no lights on the tree, or cookies baking in the oven. In fact, there were no presents that first night (the wise-men arrived two years later). It was a quiet peaceful serene moment...the focus on a small baby.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Learning to lean...learning to let go...
First of all - let me say that I am sorry it has been so long since I have blogged. Life has just seemed to be going and going; before I knew it November has come and is almost gone! Whew!!!
If I were to sum up what the Lord has been teaching/showing me in the past few months it would be this: Learning to lean and learning to let go. I know, I know sounds kind of contridictory I know but let me explain.
I have a control/fix it mentality. I really do. I see a problem, I don't want to focus on the problem I want to jump to the solution - often times before I have even fully grasped the problem. I want to FIX it, I want it gone, out of here! It doesn't matter the area of life or even if it is MY problem - I want to fix it. However, often times I can't. I just can't. Sometimes it is because the problem isn't mine to solve, or the solution isn't there yet, or well gulp, I just CAN'T!!! I especially struggle with this in terms of a problem or obstacle that I believe to be MY FAULT...there, I said it. If it is my fault, then I should be able to fix it - right? Nope...not always.
See, sometimes I believe that God allows us to dig ourselves in a hole so deep that we have to come to the point of absolute and total dependance on HIM! He has to be the one to get us out...there is a video I once saw called "A Man fell in a hole..." the whole video is how this man falls in a hole and all these people "attempt" to get him out - they can't. Yet, Jesus comes along and is the only one who can get him out. The man FELL in the hole. He wasn't pushed there, he wasn't placed there, he FELL there on his own accord. Perhaps he was distracted, perhaps he just plain didn't see it - regardless he got himself in the hole. I can relate. Recently, I have found myself in a hole. I wasn't pushed or placed or forced there - I FELL there. In fact, well...I am still in the hole in a sense but don't worry, this isn't the end of the post! I am not going to be left in the hole!
God is teaching and molding me. He is showing me that HIS grace is sufficient that I can LEAN on HIM! That HE will, in HIS time, remove me from the hole. I am learning, I am growing, I am being stretched and HE is ABLE! I don't see the how, I don't see the when, but I know I can trust in HIM to get me out of the hole. I want to fix it - if I work more (more on that in a bit), if I cut out more, if I pray more, if I do more, if I am more, etc....NOPE! Not gonna cut it...it's a God sized hole that I HAVE to lean on Him to get me out....
Now for the letting go part...as stated earlier I am a fixer but I also like to be in control. I want to be the one who determines how and when things are going to happen. In regards to my "hole" I had a plan! I was going to be out of that stupid hole by mid November. I had it lined out, planned out, it looked good on paper and well, that was that! It's November 27 - I am not out of the hole, my plan didn't really work, not sure why, I followed it to the T but here I am. I sat down, I revised, if I subbed just a few more days, if I sacrificed just this little bit of the calling God placed on my life (I'll come back to it God.), if I begged and pleaded just a tad more, if I just got a full-time job, if I gave up this part of our family...THEN I would be out of the hole. It hasn't worked...and I am realizing that until I let go of MY plans, MY agenda, MY timeline that I will stay in the hole. I don't LIKE the hole, it's dark, it's overbearing, it's lonely, it's suffocating and I WANT OUT...and thus the reason that I am learning it is time to let go. It is no longer mine to hold on to, I can't plan the when, the how ,the where the why - I just have to let go and let God.
For a moment let me chase a little side rabbit trail that in it's own way is connected. During my time in the hole (ha ha sounds like a prison cell!) God has allowed my husband to be ever so faithful, so encouraging, so focused, so wise...I have ignored him too. I thought, "Joel just isn't the planner I am. He's not thinking it all through - MY WAY WILL WORK.". My way, wasn't God's way, it wasn't my husband's way and well it didn't work...hmm, something to be said about that. You see, as a wife I am called to submit to and trust my husband. Can I state my opinion or ideas - absolutely! However, at the point in which he states the way we need to handle something then I need to listen, obey and follow. I haven't done that - I have fought, struggled, demanded, begged, pleaded - ok threw a down right temper tantrum to do it my way! Guess what? God AND my husband finally conceded and said "Ok, have it your way." Yep...didn't work. God will not honor and bless if our hearts are not first right with him and we aren't truly where we need to be in our walk with Him and secondly, as a wife I don't believe God will bless until I have submitted to my husband and I am right with him as well.
If you haven't guessed it by now - my hole centers around finances. It is a hole I KNOW to look out for, a hole I am familiar with as well...I have frequented it many times before. Times when I doubted and did not let go, times when I tried to take control and didn't lean on God, times when I failed to do things the way God has called me to...it is a hole that I HATE and yet I know God is still molding and refining me through this hole. The world tells me that I have a college degree and that I can make a decent income using that degree full-time. The world states that working 40-50 hours is the solution to getting out of the hole. The world says it's ok if my kids suffer in school, or lack of time with me as long as the paycheck is coming in....God says something different, something WEIRD in the world's standards. God says..I AM. I AM your PROVIDER, I AM your SUSTAINER, I AM your PHYSICIAN, I AM your SAVIOR, I AM your ALL IN ALL...and I WILL do what I say I WILL do! I do long to use the degree I have, and I believe that God will allow me to do that one day but that day isn't here and it won't come until I fully and completely let go and lean on Him.
This post is definitely a little more "open book" than I typically get but I felt that it was time to confess not only to God and to my husband but to be open about the struggle I am having in this hole. Not for the purpose of a "pat on the back" or "wow, you are so strong" etc. Believe me I am anything but strong...just ask my husband or best friend how many stinking temper tantrums I have thrown during the past few weeks!!! I am sharing it as a record of who God is and what He is doing and continues to do in my life. Many think minister's and their families have it all figured out and together and that life is just "peaches and cream" for us - the truth is we struggle, we fail, we doubt, we wonder just like any other family and in many ways we are harder on ourselves.
Why don't I need to work full time or sub full time? Simply stated - God says no and so does my husband. The more in depth answer - we have two children who need to be at home in a home-school environment so that they can thrive and grow. We have a ministry to a church and community that requires both Joel and I to be available and working within it. We have a son with special needs and learning disabilities that needs extra help and mom-time. We have a daughter involved in extra-curricular sports and activities that requires mom help. We have a home that needs TLC so that all 6 of us are able to relax and let go here...Would an extra income allow for any of this? NOPE...Will God provide the finances we need? YOU BET HE WILL!
"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:19
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jer 29:11-13
Here's the video that I refer to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WCTltHR-Hg
If I were to sum up what the Lord has been teaching/showing me in the past few months it would be this: Learning to lean and learning to let go. I know, I know sounds kind of contridictory I know but let me explain.
I have a control/fix it mentality. I really do. I see a problem, I don't want to focus on the problem I want to jump to the solution - often times before I have even fully grasped the problem. I want to FIX it, I want it gone, out of here! It doesn't matter the area of life or even if it is MY problem - I want to fix it. However, often times I can't. I just can't. Sometimes it is because the problem isn't mine to solve, or the solution isn't there yet, or well gulp, I just CAN'T!!! I especially struggle with this in terms of a problem or obstacle that I believe to be MY FAULT...there, I said it. If it is my fault, then I should be able to fix it - right? Nope...not always.
See, sometimes I believe that God allows us to dig ourselves in a hole so deep that we have to come to the point of absolute and total dependance on HIM! He has to be the one to get us out...there is a video I once saw called "A Man fell in a hole..." the whole video is how this man falls in a hole and all these people "attempt" to get him out - they can't. Yet, Jesus comes along and is the only one who can get him out. The man FELL in the hole. He wasn't pushed there, he wasn't placed there, he FELL there on his own accord. Perhaps he was distracted, perhaps he just plain didn't see it - regardless he got himself in the hole. I can relate. Recently, I have found myself in a hole. I wasn't pushed or placed or forced there - I FELL there. In fact, well...I am still in the hole in a sense but don't worry, this isn't the end of the post! I am not going to be left in the hole!
God is teaching and molding me. He is showing me that HIS grace is sufficient that I can LEAN on HIM! That HE will, in HIS time, remove me from the hole. I am learning, I am growing, I am being stretched and HE is ABLE! I don't see the how, I don't see the when, but I know I can trust in HIM to get me out of the hole. I want to fix it - if I work more (more on that in a bit), if I cut out more, if I pray more, if I do more, if I am more, etc....NOPE! Not gonna cut it...it's a God sized hole that I HAVE to lean on Him to get me out....
Now for the letting go part...as stated earlier I am a fixer but I also like to be in control. I want to be the one who determines how and when things are going to happen. In regards to my "hole" I had a plan! I was going to be out of that stupid hole by mid November. I had it lined out, planned out, it looked good on paper and well, that was that! It's November 27 - I am not out of the hole, my plan didn't really work, not sure why, I followed it to the T but here I am. I sat down, I revised, if I subbed just a few more days, if I sacrificed just this little bit of the calling God placed on my life (I'll come back to it God.), if I begged and pleaded just a tad more, if I just got a full-time job, if I gave up this part of our family...THEN I would be out of the hole. It hasn't worked...and I am realizing that until I let go of MY plans, MY agenda, MY timeline that I will stay in the hole. I don't LIKE the hole, it's dark, it's overbearing, it's lonely, it's suffocating and I WANT OUT...and thus the reason that I am learning it is time to let go. It is no longer mine to hold on to, I can't plan the when, the how ,the where the why - I just have to let go and let God.
For a moment let me chase a little side rabbit trail that in it's own way is connected. During my time in the hole (ha ha sounds like a prison cell!) God has allowed my husband to be ever so faithful, so encouraging, so focused, so wise...I have ignored him too. I thought, "Joel just isn't the planner I am. He's not thinking it all through - MY WAY WILL WORK.". My way, wasn't God's way, it wasn't my husband's way and well it didn't work...hmm, something to be said about that. You see, as a wife I am called to submit to and trust my husband. Can I state my opinion or ideas - absolutely! However, at the point in which he states the way we need to handle something then I need to listen, obey and follow. I haven't done that - I have fought, struggled, demanded, begged, pleaded - ok threw a down right temper tantrum to do it my way! Guess what? God AND my husband finally conceded and said "Ok, have it your way." Yep...didn't work. God will not honor and bless if our hearts are not first right with him and we aren't truly where we need to be in our walk with Him and secondly, as a wife I don't believe God will bless until I have submitted to my husband and I am right with him as well.
If you haven't guessed it by now - my hole centers around finances. It is a hole I KNOW to look out for, a hole I am familiar with as well...I have frequented it many times before. Times when I doubted and did not let go, times when I tried to take control and didn't lean on God, times when I failed to do things the way God has called me to...it is a hole that I HATE and yet I know God is still molding and refining me through this hole. The world tells me that I have a college degree and that I can make a decent income using that degree full-time. The world states that working 40-50 hours is the solution to getting out of the hole. The world says it's ok if my kids suffer in school, or lack of time with me as long as the paycheck is coming in....God says something different, something WEIRD in the world's standards. God says..I AM. I AM your PROVIDER, I AM your SUSTAINER, I AM your PHYSICIAN, I AM your SAVIOR, I AM your ALL IN ALL...and I WILL do what I say I WILL do! I do long to use the degree I have, and I believe that God will allow me to do that one day but that day isn't here and it won't come until I fully and completely let go and lean on Him.
This post is definitely a little more "open book" than I typically get but I felt that it was time to confess not only to God and to my husband but to be open about the struggle I am having in this hole. Not for the purpose of a "pat on the back" or "wow, you are so strong" etc. Believe me I am anything but strong...just ask my husband or best friend how many stinking temper tantrums I have thrown during the past few weeks!!! I am sharing it as a record of who God is and what He is doing and continues to do in my life. Many think minister's and their families have it all figured out and together and that life is just "peaches and cream" for us - the truth is we struggle, we fail, we doubt, we wonder just like any other family and in many ways we are harder on ourselves.
Why don't I need to work full time or sub full time? Simply stated - God says no and so does my husband. The more in depth answer - we have two children who need to be at home in a home-school environment so that they can thrive and grow. We have a ministry to a church and community that requires both Joel and I to be available and working within it. We have a son with special needs and learning disabilities that needs extra help and mom-time. We have a daughter involved in extra-curricular sports and activities that requires mom help. We have a home that needs TLC so that all 6 of us are able to relax and let go here...Would an extra income allow for any of this? NOPE...Will God provide the finances we need? YOU BET HE WILL!
"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:19
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jer 29:11-13
Here's the video that I refer to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WCTltHR-Hg
Friday, October 12, 2012
Politics? That's second string to me!
I am by NO means into politics...seriously I am not. In fact, there is only a VERY rare occasion in which you will even find news on my TV - I do on occasion watch the weather segment although even that has declined since having the Weather App on my phone.
I don't claim to know all the "ins and outs" of all the big issues that are on the ballots. As for a National budget? I have a hard enough time managing our personal budget at home much less trying to understand or make sense of the National one. Foreign Policy - it's all "foreign" to me! (pardon the pun). Don't ask me about the details of the Health Care plan - haven't a clue (although I know there is a lot I am not in favor of).
All that aside there is one BIG issue that I care passionately about. It is one of the things that drives my husband and I to do what we do. It is why I personally, and we as a couple have made many sacrifices. It is the core issue that ultimately affects ALL other issues in our Nation today - the downfall or loss of the FAMILY!
This is what matters to me and as I raise my children in a society that every day degrades and devalues the role of family - I am more passionate than EVER that if we would go back to the basics, go back to the core values that our founding fathers fought for, then we would see a true turn around in our Nation.
I can hear some of you now, yes even see your face, this is what you are thinking "hello, we aren't in the colonial period any more - this is a new time - things are different." Okay - I will had it to you, yes SOME things are different but the CORE, the reason this country was founded hasn't change. Look at ANY country in the world - they will all tell you their heritage. The people know where they have come from, what made them the country they are. The United States should be no different - we need to remember what we came out of and why. The founding fathers, who mind you were NOT all Christians, believed in the value of family. They believed that the success of a Nation depended on the success of the family - it was true then and it is true now.
The family is where it HAS to lie and the family is the one entity that is being attacked on EVERY front. The right to determine your child's education is being challenged in the majority of states, the right of how and when to discipline your children is at risk, of course the right to raise your child of the faith of your choosing is under attack. Beyond parenting issues - which are HUGE to say the least - there are the issues of defining family. Studies have shown over and over and over that children who are in a strong family unit - meaning one father, one mother (both the biological parents) of children are more apt to succeed in life as adults. This DOES NOT mean that children in mixed/blended families cannot succeed - it means that they have to work harder. This attack on family isn't new - in fact, it's not a "recent" issue. It is an issue that developed overtime as we allowed our priorities to shift from family to government, from family to self, from family to work, etc.
As much as I am not a political person - I am not into "statistics" or listing facts you can search for yourself - rather I want to share with you real life examples, true stories of how as an adult working with children and teens over the past 17 years has seen the Family Role fall at an alarming rate:
1. Numerous students raised in either a single family home or blended home have shared with us their loss of identity. "I am not sure who I am or where I belong."
2. On several occasions "I really wish my parents cared about what I am facing - they are more concerned about their jobs and the world than me."
3. From parents "I can't remember the last time we sat around our table or had a night at home - we are always pulled in too many directions." or "We sold our dining room table - because we never use it anyway." (dead serious)
4. Also from parents when asked what their children are faced with at school "Hmmm..I don't think anything really. We haven't talked about it much." (I will tell you they are faced with a lot!)
5.On the issue of modesty from parents "Well, their just kids - it really isn't a big deal what they wear."
6. On athletics vs family time "Well, if they are to succeed in life; athletics is key"
7. When asked about family traditions during holidays "Well, we really don't have any....it's just time for my parents to sleep and me to play video games."
8. When asked what he wanted to do when he graduated from HS without hesitation "Be a porn star - their cool."
You get the idea...families are falling apart and we are now facing a crisis of epidemic proportions! While we are sitting back being "too busy" for our families - the government is slowly and methodically stripping away parental rights and we are none the wiser. There are lawsuits currently in the US Courts where parents are being accused of child abuse simply for taking their children to church, they are being denied the right to know their children's medical conditions or have a say in their medical treatment, they are being denied the right to say whether or not their child attends sex education, and many more vital rights are being challenged EVERY DAY!
So - back to the original topic of politics. No - I am not into politics but I am into FAMILY. When I look at the two current nominees for President, I don't see foreign policy, I don't see health care, I don't see the budget (although those are ALL important issues). I look at the family. I look at the fact that for decades America has believed that parents are the professionals when it comes to their child in every area and I look at how now a tide is turning. A tide that began with "It takes a village to raise a child" and is now at an alarming rate overtaking America. I look at how a candidate values the life of a helpless baby that has no voice. I look at how a candidate defines marriage. I look at the lack of morals our youth have. These are the issues that concern me and the issues that sway my vote.
America - WAKE UP! Our deepest heritage and history was centered around the family. Parents took the responsibility for their child's education, their health, their discipline, their upbringing to responsible adults. The government came ALONGSIDE and SUPPORTED parents - they didn't take their place. Value for one another and God were the essence of society - not degrading and devaluing one another. If parents don't pay attention and realize that there are hidden agendas - they will wake up one day and wonder why they have no rights in parenting. Currently there is a bill that if signed will literally say that the government will have complete say in the raising of your child - for more information go to www.parentalrights.org.
In addition to being informed - we have GOT to gain control of our own individual families. We have got to spend time around the dinner table. We need to say "no" to things that infringe on regular family time together. Our children have got to know that THEY are our greatest priority. We have to protect them from pornography, bullying, cyber bullying, overcommitment, etc. We have to take 100% responsibility for their education - whether through homeschooling, being involved in local school districts, or private education. We have to be the number one champion in their corner. We need to be the ones teaching them the importance of freedom and the cost that was paid. I am speaking to MY generation. It's NOT the responsibility of Senior adults to fight and vote for this. It's NOT the responsibility of grandparents to raise our children and to teach them about family - it is OURS!
Joel and I are so passionate about this issue that we have literally devoted our lives to educating and coming alongside parents as they seek to raise responsible children. For a true gauge on where your family falls in recognizing the importance of family ask yourself and/or your kids these questions:
1.) When was the last meal that you all sat around the table together and actually TALKED - not hurried through?
2.) What are your children doing with their "down time" at home?
3.) When was the last time your family did something together - just you guys (ie. board games, walk, hike, etc)
4.) If married, when was the last date you and your spouse went on?
5.) If married, what do your children see when you interact with one another? or do they just see you rushing to the next thing?
6.) When was the last time you went to church as a family?
7.) What issue is/are your child/children facing at school? What are they learning currently at school?
8.) Do you and/or your children spend more time looking at an electronic device than one another?
Your answers will probably give you an idea on the status of your family. If there is something you aren't happy with - what changes need to take place? Need help in re-organizing or re-prioritizing? That's what we do!
I don't claim to know all the "ins and outs" of all the big issues that are on the ballots. As for a National budget? I have a hard enough time managing our personal budget at home much less trying to understand or make sense of the National one. Foreign Policy - it's all "foreign" to me! (pardon the pun). Don't ask me about the details of the Health Care plan - haven't a clue (although I know there is a lot I am not in favor of).
All that aside there is one BIG issue that I care passionately about. It is one of the things that drives my husband and I to do what we do. It is why I personally, and we as a couple have made many sacrifices. It is the core issue that ultimately affects ALL other issues in our Nation today - the downfall or loss of the FAMILY!
This is what matters to me and as I raise my children in a society that every day degrades and devalues the role of family - I am more passionate than EVER that if we would go back to the basics, go back to the core values that our founding fathers fought for, then we would see a true turn around in our Nation.
I can hear some of you now, yes even see your face, this is what you are thinking "hello, we aren't in the colonial period any more - this is a new time - things are different." Okay - I will had it to you, yes SOME things are different but the CORE, the reason this country was founded hasn't change. Look at ANY country in the world - they will all tell you their heritage. The people know where they have come from, what made them the country they are. The United States should be no different - we need to remember what we came out of and why. The founding fathers, who mind you were NOT all Christians, believed in the value of family. They believed that the success of a Nation depended on the success of the family - it was true then and it is true now.
The family is where it HAS to lie and the family is the one entity that is being attacked on EVERY front. The right to determine your child's education is being challenged in the majority of states, the right of how and when to discipline your children is at risk, of course the right to raise your child of the faith of your choosing is under attack. Beyond parenting issues - which are HUGE to say the least - there are the issues of defining family. Studies have shown over and over and over that children who are in a strong family unit - meaning one father, one mother (both the biological parents) of children are more apt to succeed in life as adults. This DOES NOT mean that children in mixed/blended families cannot succeed - it means that they have to work harder. This attack on family isn't new - in fact, it's not a "recent" issue. It is an issue that developed overtime as we allowed our priorities to shift from family to government, from family to self, from family to work, etc.
As much as I am not a political person - I am not into "statistics" or listing facts you can search for yourself - rather I want to share with you real life examples, true stories of how as an adult working with children and teens over the past 17 years has seen the Family Role fall at an alarming rate:
1. Numerous students raised in either a single family home or blended home have shared with us their loss of identity. "I am not sure who I am or where I belong."
2. On several occasions "I really wish my parents cared about what I am facing - they are more concerned about their jobs and the world than me."
3. From parents "I can't remember the last time we sat around our table or had a night at home - we are always pulled in too many directions." or "We sold our dining room table - because we never use it anyway." (dead serious)
4. Also from parents when asked what their children are faced with at school "Hmmm..I don't think anything really. We haven't talked about it much." (I will tell you they are faced with a lot!)
5.On the issue of modesty from parents "Well, their just kids - it really isn't a big deal what they wear."
6. On athletics vs family time "Well, if they are to succeed in life; athletics is key"
7. When asked about family traditions during holidays "Well, we really don't have any....it's just time for my parents to sleep and me to play video games."
8. When asked what he wanted to do when he graduated from HS without hesitation "Be a porn star - their cool."
You get the idea...families are falling apart and we are now facing a crisis of epidemic proportions! While we are sitting back being "too busy" for our families - the government is slowly and methodically stripping away parental rights and we are none the wiser. There are lawsuits currently in the US Courts where parents are being accused of child abuse simply for taking their children to church, they are being denied the right to know their children's medical conditions or have a say in their medical treatment, they are being denied the right to say whether or not their child attends sex education, and many more vital rights are being challenged EVERY DAY!
So - back to the original topic of politics. No - I am not into politics but I am into FAMILY. When I look at the two current nominees for President, I don't see foreign policy, I don't see health care, I don't see the budget (although those are ALL important issues). I look at the family. I look at the fact that for decades America has believed that parents are the professionals when it comes to their child in every area and I look at how now a tide is turning. A tide that began with "It takes a village to raise a child" and is now at an alarming rate overtaking America. I look at how a candidate values the life of a helpless baby that has no voice. I look at how a candidate defines marriage. I look at the lack of morals our youth have. These are the issues that concern me and the issues that sway my vote.
America - WAKE UP! Our deepest heritage and history was centered around the family. Parents took the responsibility for their child's education, their health, their discipline, their upbringing to responsible adults. The government came ALONGSIDE and SUPPORTED parents - they didn't take their place. Value for one another and God were the essence of society - not degrading and devaluing one another. If parents don't pay attention and realize that there are hidden agendas - they will wake up one day and wonder why they have no rights in parenting. Currently there is a bill that if signed will literally say that the government will have complete say in the raising of your child - for more information go to www.parentalrights.org.
In addition to being informed - we have GOT to gain control of our own individual families. We have got to spend time around the dinner table. We need to say "no" to things that infringe on regular family time together. Our children have got to know that THEY are our greatest priority. We have to protect them from pornography, bullying, cyber bullying, overcommitment, etc. We have to take 100% responsibility for their education - whether through homeschooling, being involved in local school districts, or private education. We have to be the number one champion in their corner. We need to be the ones teaching them the importance of freedom and the cost that was paid. I am speaking to MY generation. It's NOT the responsibility of Senior adults to fight and vote for this. It's NOT the responsibility of grandparents to raise our children and to teach them about family - it is OURS!
Joel and I are so passionate about this issue that we have literally devoted our lives to educating and coming alongside parents as they seek to raise responsible children. For a true gauge on where your family falls in recognizing the importance of family ask yourself and/or your kids these questions:
1.) When was the last meal that you all sat around the table together and actually TALKED - not hurried through?
2.) What are your children doing with their "down time" at home?
3.) When was the last time your family did something together - just you guys (ie. board games, walk, hike, etc)
4.) If married, when was the last date you and your spouse went on?
5.) If married, what do your children see when you interact with one another? or do they just see you rushing to the next thing?
6.) When was the last time you went to church as a family?
7.) What issue is/are your child/children facing at school? What are they learning currently at school?
8.) Do you and/or your children spend more time looking at an electronic device than one another?
Your answers will probably give you an idea on the status of your family. If there is something you aren't happy with - what changes need to take place? Need help in re-organizing or re-prioritizing? That's what we do!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
What's in a voice...
Wow...what a crazy time these last 3 weeks have been. I can honestly say, that being on the home front side of a mission trip has been one of the hardest things I have EVER done!!!
Joel and I have a really great marriage, not perfect by any means but certainly a great marriage in my opinion. We have had are ups and we have more than our share of downs but through it all instead of allowing circumstances to pull us apart - we have allowed everything to draw us closer to one another. From the bottom of my heart I can say that we are one flesh...
This time with him in Africa and me here in Texas has shown me a lot about my self, my walk with the Lord, my relationship with Joel, and my relationship with my children. I have seen a lot that I am proud of in my life and well, I have seen a whole lot that I am not so proud of - yet through it all I have discovered the ONE thing that I miss the most....
The sound of my hubby's voice....I haven't actually verbally talked to Joel since Sept 11 - the day he left. In fact, I will not verbally talk with him until Sept 28 - the day he comes home. That's a LONG time to go without talking to the one person that you share EVERYTHING with! Ha ha! More than just missing his voice though - I have reflected on the fact that God certainly created us to be RELATIONAL! Not just a quick text message here and there (which has been our only means of communication for the past 15 days) but to have face to face verbal interacting relationships. I do not believe that you can truly connect through just an e-mail or a text...you need to TALK.
Today I was thinking to myself of all the things I needed to share with Joel - things about the kids, things about the house and bills, things about family, things about church and ministry...so very much!!! However, just as quickly - something else came to mind...
Just as much as I miss Joel and my daily interaction and relationship with him - my Heavenly Father also misses me. He longs for me to sit and just talk to Him about my day, my life, my highs, my lows. He wants to hear my voice and He longs for me to stop long enough to hear His...
Yet, unlike Joel where I have honestly had no way to communicate with him verbally - my Father is there EVERY day, He patiently sits and waits wondering if today I will have enough time to talk with Him and to hear from Him...He wants a strong relationship with Him...where have I been?
What's in a voice? A relationship....I believe that if we would stop and take time to talk and listen to the Lord our relationship would be so strong that it would be AMAZING. In the same way - I believe that we need to take time and truly interact with those we love and care about - ESPECIALLY our spouses. Marriages are falling apart literally all around us - both outside and inside the church. From what I can see...a common theme is that many times they have stopped communicating and interacting with one another. They haven't taken time to enjoy the sound of each others voice.
With that in mind - I plan on working on my communication both with my Father and with my hubby!!! Joel better be ready for a LONG coke date (I don't do coffee but Dr. Pepper is awesome and affordable) :-)
Joel and I have a really great marriage, not perfect by any means but certainly a great marriage in my opinion. We have had are ups and we have more than our share of downs but through it all instead of allowing circumstances to pull us apart - we have allowed everything to draw us closer to one another. From the bottom of my heart I can say that we are one flesh...
This time with him in Africa and me here in Texas has shown me a lot about my self, my walk with the Lord, my relationship with Joel, and my relationship with my children. I have seen a lot that I am proud of in my life and well, I have seen a whole lot that I am not so proud of - yet through it all I have discovered the ONE thing that I miss the most....
The sound of my hubby's voice....I haven't actually verbally talked to Joel since Sept 11 - the day he left. In fact, I will not verbally talk with him until Sept 28 - the day he comes home. That's a LONG time to go without talking to the one person that you share EVERYTHING with! Ha ha! More than just missing his voice though - I have reflected on the fact that God certainly created us to be RELATIONAL! Not just a quick text message here and there (which has been our only means of communication for the past 15 days) but to have face to face verbal interacting relationships. I do not believe that you can truly connect through just an e-mail or a text...you need to TALK.
Today I was thinking to myself of all the things I needed to share with Joel - things about the kids, things about the house and bills, things about family, things about church and ministry...so very much!!! However, just as quickly - something else came to mind...
Just as much as I miss Joel and my daily interaction and relationship with him - my Heavenly Father also misses me. He longs for me to sit and just talk to Him about my day, my life, my highs, my lows. He wants to hear my voice and He longs for me to stop long enough to hear His...
Yet, unlike Joel where I have honestly had no way to communicate with him verbally - my Father is there EVERY day, He patiently sits and waits wondering if today I will have enough time to talk with Him and to hear from Him...He wants a strong relationship with Him...where have I been?
What's in a voice? A relationship....I believe that if we would stop and take time to talk and listen to the Lord our relationship would be so strong that it would be AMAZING. In the same way - I believe that we need to take time and truly interact with those we love and care about - ESPECIALLY our spouses. Marriages are falling apart literally all around us - both outside and inside the church. From what I can see...a common theme is that many times they have stopped communicating and interacting with one another. They haven't taken time to enjoy the sound of each others voice.
With that in mind - I plan on working on my communication both with my Father and with my hubby!!! Joel better be ready for a LONG coke date (I don't do coffee but Dr. Pepper is awesome and affordable) :-)
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