12 Week Year - Goals

 

A few years back, my husband Joel worked for a company that utilized the concept of a 12 week year. While I haven't yet read the book that this is derived from, I have been intrigued by the idea of it and decided that 2023 would be the year I would try this out. Basically the idea is that you break the year into 12 week sections and set goals for each 12 weeks block. I really liked the idea of taking larger calendar year goals and breaking them down into smaller chunks to focus on for these 12 week intervals. So that is what I did this year. 

My first 12 week year began yesterday. A week ago, Joel and I sat down and wrote out our goals for the first 12 week year - while some of them are individual goals, others are things we want to accomplish as a couple. Notice I have used the word goals as opposed to resolutions. I am never great at resolutions - I honestly fail at them. However, as a SPED teacher I am all about setting goals for my students that are SMART - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reasonable, and Time Bound. That is the framework that I used for setting my first set of 12 week goals. Another thing I have learned in SPED is to have action steps or objectives to help reach those goals; so I have done that as well. I also have learned that accountability in meeting our goals is so crucial! So - I am sharing my goals here, writing them out and making them known. At the end of my 12 week year, I hope to write a post with the progress but in the meantime - feel free to reach out to me and ask me how I am doing! 

Spiritual Goals: 

* Quiet time 5 days a week
    - Set time each morning
    - Record Prayers/Answers to Prayers
    - Journal Daily

* Read 2 books of the Bible 
   - Daily
   - Record lessons and revelations

Physical Goal: 

*Lose 24 pounds
   - Exercise 5 days a week
   - Drink 8 glasses of water daily
   - Limit Soft Drinks to 1 per day

Relationship Goals: 

*Invest in 2 meaningful friendships
   - Reach out to them
   - Share openly with them
   - Once a month schedule 1 on 1 time with them

*Invest in Connection Group Members
   - Have them over for dinner
   - Weekly texts of encouragement

*Foster independence with my adult children
  - Ask "My Wonder is..." style questions 
  - Release them to make mistakes

Financial Goals: (made with my husband)

*Meet living expenses within our financial means
  - eliminate unnecessary expenses

* $1000 paid off of credit card

* $1100 paid in tithe

Home Projects (made with my husband)

* Clean up all the trash/excess wood on our property

* Laminate flooring in Tyler's room

* Back Patio cleared and set up for use in the spring/summer 

There are my first 12 week year goals! The 12 week year is from Jan 1 - March 25. I am excited to really FOCUS on these goals and areas of my life! 

2023 Word of the Year

 For about 12 years now, I have adopted the practice of asking the Lord to give me a word of the year to dial into and provide direction for the year. In the past I have had words like joy, embrace, anticipation, perseverance, and missional. 

As I prayed about my word for this year - two actually kept coming to mind. I was really wrestling with which one to go with and then I realized that the two actually tie together and when you have one; you can also have the other. So - my word for 2023 is FOCUS which will then allow me to dial in and attend to PURPOSE. I want to be so focused on the Lord this year that there is no doubt in my mind what purpose He has for me in all areas of my life! 

Proverbs 4:25 states this, "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly ahead of you." This is where I want to be. I tend to get so side tracked, so distracted by things that really have nothing to do with God's purpose or plan for my life! I need to FOCUS on the plan HE has for me and not stray from that. 

As Joel and I have been talking about our words for the year, the direction of ministry as well as our family this year we both came to realize that over the last year we have slowly lost sight of our purpose and calling. God called us 8 years ago to come to Delta and plant HIS Church. At first, it was easy to stay focused and dialed in because that was honestly all we had to hold on to. However, as we became more settled here and we began living our daily life...keeping our hand to the plow became harder. The past year we hit some serious potholes in the road...if you know anything about potholes you know that they can cause damage to your vehicle and also get you off the road quick! I can tell you that is what has happened for me. I had lost sight of the purpose, I had allowed the enemy to sidetrack me, and allowed fear, anxiety, doubt cloud my way. 

So this year - it is all about FOCUSING on Him so that I can remain steadfast in the PURPOSE that He has called me to! 

The story of Delilah-Mae

 Since out beautiful granddaughter Delilah-Mae is 2 months old today, I thought today would be a great day to update the blog and share her story.  Delilah is the daughter of our son Malachi and his wife Jinny. When we were told that they were expecting our first grandchild we were all SO excited! Being a grandparent is a whole new journey but definitely a journey I was looking forward to! In July we learned that they were expecting a girl and the entire family was thrilled! 

During a routine ultrasound, Jinny's doctor first noticed that it appeared one kidney did not look like it was developing correctly. This resulted in a referral to have an additional more in-depth ultrasound at the Maternal Fetal Center in Grand Junction. Fast forward through a lot of follow up scans and appointments - it was discovered that Delilah only had one functioning kidney as well as a heart defect. While the news was definitely not expected, it was a lot to take in, Jinny and Malachi embraced it well. Due to her challenges it was determined that Delilah needed to be born at Denver Children's Hospital so that they could provide the needed care immediately.  On October 24, 2022 Delilah-Mae arrived and blessed our world! 

Within a week of birth it was determined that Delilah-Mae had tetralogy fallout with pulmonary atresia as a result of 22q deletion or DiGeorge Syndrome. Both her kidney issue and heart issue are common with DiGeorge. Without going into all the medical terminology what this means is that Delilah will undergo surgery on her heart when she is about 5 or 6 months old, she will only have one functioning kidney for life, and she may encounter other developmental and learning delays along the way. This will be a learning curve and an incredible journey for our entire family. 

Having been around special needs children for all of our marriage, having a niece with special needs, as well as having our Tyler in our life and now being a Special Education Teacher - it is SO apparent that God has paved the way for such a time as this! Before Delilah was even a speck of our imagination - God was molding, preparing, and teaching us so that we could be the family she would need and for that I am so incredibly thankful! 

Delilah is currently still at Denver Children's Hospital - tentatively surgery is scheduled for March or April but obviously things change. There is a chance she will come home before surgery but again - it is an ever changing pendulum and so we never know. What we DO know is that God has a plan and a purpose for her life, that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and as her Gigi and Papa Joel and I are ready to walk the journey with her and her parents as God allows! 
 

Resurrecting the Blog - Been awhile

 Lately I have found myself longing to record the journey of our family once again. It has taken a bit to recall the passwords and format for this blog but I did it! I honestly considered starting fresh but decided I really like this blog, the history in it, the story recorded! 

So - to briefly update you all on our family since my last post in 2018....

Hannah - is living in California and doing great! She is a paraprofessional for special needs students at a Charter School and LOVES her job! She recently moved into a new apartment and is adulting well! 

Malachi - Is MARRIED and A DAD! He married his beautiful bride Jinny on April 24, 2021. On October 24, 2022 they welcomed Delilah-Mae Ranae Arrington. I will blog about her story in a separate post but Joel and I are over the moon to be Gigi and Papa! Malachi is also a special education paraprofessional and is amazing in this position!!! 

Kestra - Graduated in May 2022 from Colorado Mountain College and is in her first year as a Kindergarten Teacher at Hotchkiss K-8 here in Delta County! She is loving her job and doing amazing at it! She is also helping us with the Childrens' Program at our church. 

Tyler - Graduated in May 2020 from Vision Charter Academy. He is working at Walmart and doing AMAZING! He has recently got his drivers license and his own car! 

Joel - Is still pastoring Church Without Walls and subbing in our local schools. He continues to overcome CVID and is doing well! 

Ronnie - I am on my 5th year of teaching Special Education at Garnet Mesa Elementary and absolutely love my job even on the hardest of days! When I am not teaching school I am leading Bible Studies and serving my family! 

That is the really short version of where we are all at! Look for more posts SOON

New Year, Launching, New Word

January 7th - As I reflect on this date, I am surrounded with many thoughts, emotions, feelings, and just truly in awe.

This day - my beautiful older sister was born. It is the day that Sherri Sue Ashcraft entered our family. She is celebrating this day in Heaven...at the feet of the King of Kings! She is missed but I would never rob her of the joy of being with Jesus.

January 7, 2018 - Today we will have our first official service for Church Without Walls Delta. In church planting lingo this means we are officially our own church with a regular weekly public worship service. As I reflect on this I stand in amazement of how God has worked and continues to work. I look back on what I, in my flesh, thought this day would mean and how God has taken that and totally re-shaped, changed and accomplished HIS plan! In my mind, I had faces of those that would be leading in worship for this service, I had in place who the leadership would be, I had it figured out....BUT GOD!! Do you know that other than our family - NOT ONE of the people I envisioned will be a part. And...I am GREAT with that because God had a plan so much bigger, so much greater. He has and continues to build Church Without Walls Delta into the church that HE has called it to be. We aren't even supposed to be at this point yet - BUT GOD had a different plan and I am so humbled by it!!!

This journey, it hasn't been without hard. It hasn't been without discouragement. It hasn't been without second guessing. In fact, I still struggle with all of that. Yet, God in His infinite wisdom has paved the path. He has opened the flood gates and I await anxiously to see what He does next!

For the past 6 years I have asked God to give me a word for the year. A word that He wants me to focus on and incorporate into my life. Most years I LOVE the word He has given me and I readily embrace it. This time...well, we are 7 days into the year and I am finally accepting that yes this indeed the word He has for me - PERSEVERANCE. Perseverance is not a fun word - here is some of what comes up when you look it up:

* Not giving up - even when it is hard
*Persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success
*Perseverance is not one long race; it is many short races one right after the other

Sounds exciting right? Not so much... This church planting thing, it is hard. We have and will have more delays. It does feel like several small races back to back - we finish one and before we catch our breath the next one begins. Yet - the end result is SO worth it. When we see lives changed with the Gospel. When we see families broken being restored. When we see someone accept Jesus as their Savior. When we see a young child follow in baptism. When we see the truth sink into the heart. Then....the PERSEVERANCE is worth it and so much more!!!!

Church planting isn't the only area that God is calling me to persevere in. Working on my Masters in Special Education is HARD. Most days coming home from work and knowing I have a paper to write, an assignment to do, assigned reading - that is not easy. However, God has continued to line out this path and show me THIS is from Him!!! Raising a son with special needs who is ever closer to being an adult and trying to know what the best path for him is - this is NOT easy. There are days that I just want to stop and just let the chips fall where they may...but God is calling Joel and I to persevere in seeking a diagnosis, to seek the best possible future for our sweet boy!

So....this year, 2018, I will persevere in what He has called me to do. I will persevere in seeking to share the Gospel. I will persevere in seeking those who need encouragement and support. I will persevere in pursuing a career in Special Education. I will persevere in seeking future opportunities for my son. I will persevere in working alongside my husband in this church planting journey....

I will PERSEVERE....

The "Not so" picture perfect family...

I have a lot of fun memories of growing up - family trips to see Grandparents, camping trips, 4-H fairs, games and more, however, that isn't all I remember from growing up. Many people would say I had the perfect family - and well, I did have it pretty darn good! Two amazing sisters, a mom and dad who loved each other and us well but....perfect it was not.

Not to share "dirty laundry" but to share reality - I struggled with my middle sister - she was the middle, I was the youngest and to say we clashed - that was an understatement. We fought A LOT and about EVERYTHING!!! I am not even kidding you...stupid stuff, big fights. In fact, I remember my Dad even went to meet with our pastor because seriously, he thought we hated each other. We didn't. We just didn't fully appreciate one another until later on in life - when she was out of the house and many miles separated us! Ha ha ha. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder - it's true! It seriously worked for me! When my sister went to college - I missed her LIKE CRAZY! The very same one who drove me NUTS, who rubbed me the wrong way, who was ALWAYS bossy, yep I missed her! I missed hanging with her. I missed her sticking up for me. I just missed her! Yet - we weren't perfect - like I said and am sad to admit - we fought more than not. However, we did love each other and we did learn to forgive each other.

The reason I share this - in today's day and age of social media, we see a lot of cute, adorable, fun family pictures (much like the one above). We think - wow, that family, they have it all together and maybe in some sense they do - but no family is perfect, no family is without conflict, no family is without strife, and regrets.

Let me tell you about this picture above....to be honest, I kind of wish we hadn't taken it. Not because I don't LOVE my family...I do! However, appearances say wow - look at them! They went to the movie, everyone was happy and loved it. We DID go to the movie, we DID enjoy it but then....the "after" the movie happened. I am not going to share all the details - suffice it to say, over a very STUPID thing - three of us blew up. I say us - cause YEP I was a chief offender. Reality is - I can have a short fuse, especially when I have my mind made up how something is going to go (like a fun family night out) and it doesn't end up just the way I had it planned. This blow up maybe in terms of other times wasn't as big but it did involve yelling (me), slapping doors (me), losing cool (me)...don't get me wrong, there were other players as those who witnessed it can tell you but hey, I can only share about me and I can only change me....

Thankfully - what I just shared was NOT the end of our evening...although it was a chunk of it. Tempers settled, forgiveness was granted, laughter was the end of the evening and restoration was made. I say all this to say...no family is without their flaws, we all have a bit of ugly and not pleasant. My family - we are still navigating through a bunch of that....finding how having adult children in the home works, adjusting to a mom who is not only working full-time but also going back to school and it exhausted, navigating this journey of church planting, and having a special needs teen in the house with major emotions and hormones... However - we DO have this going for us - we are grounded in the Word, we know how to forgive, we know how to restore the relationship, and most of all - this mom, she is learning that every day I have to tell my kids "I'm sorry" and guess what? We are even working on NOT saying "It's okay" because it is NOT okay, it may be reality but it is not okay - instead we are working on saying "I forgive you and I know you are human".

Colossians 3:12-13 tells us " Therefore God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also forgive one another."

I don't always put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience or acceptance...I am pretty sure God knew we wouldn't so he made sure to include FORGIVENESS. So - my family, we aren't perfect, we have some ugly, but we do do forgiveness and for that - I am thankful!

The reason I share this is not to pat myself on the back, believe me I am in NO WAY proud of how I acted last night or a gazillion other times I have lost it with my family. I share it because sometimes, I think we need to see other families as REAL and understand that we aren't the only ones with baggage and ugliness and conflict....or as a sweet friend of mine always said "we all have our own kind of crazy". It's true. My Dad was constantly telling us girls growing up - "It isn't how you act but how you react". I acted in crazy last night - but at the end, my reaction was "I'm sorry, I forgive you, and I love you"....My encouragement to you is this - be a family that knows how to forgive, how to say I am sorry, and give yourself the gift of starting new....work out those things - compassion, kindness, humility, acceptance, gentleness, patience, acceptance...and forgive others and yourself...

Tyler's Story - the next chapter

In 2012, I wrote about Tyler's Story...this morning as I was reflecting on this amazing young man and where God has brought him, I thought it time to write about the next chapter in his life being as June is his birthday month. If you didn't read the first part of his story here  is the link to it Tyler's Story,

When I left off, Tyler was 11 and had been diagnosed with a pronounced learning disability, struggled with reading, being bullied and more...but that was not the end nor will this blog be the end because that is the beautiful thing about our Creator God - he is constantly writing our story!

Tyler will be 16 this month - how is that even possible? He is now reading at a second almost third grade level, he has mastered many math skills, finished his Freshman year of High School on the Honor Roll, took Ag Mechanics, talks about cars and engines like all the time, and still has a heart for animals!!!

After struggling with being bullied, not getting the services we felt he needed in school, and just needing to learn in a different way - we made the decision to home school him for his 7th and 8th grade years - it went AMAZING! He was able to do all his school work in the mornings due to one on one teaching, could learn through hands on and visual methods, and his confidence sky rocketed! I had no idea how it would go but God knew and it was the biggest blessing of our lives.

When we moved to Delta last summer, Tyler asked if he could go back to regular school. Scared and uncertain this Mom had to trust that an Almighty God loved my boy even more than I did and that He could care for and protect him even when I couldn't. So - Tyler went to High School and he did very well.

In High School, the IEP meetings are a little more intense because suddenly you realize - our goal needs to shift from focusing solely on his educational needs to now also including thoughts and goals for what life is after High School - because 4 years goes by quick! I will not lie here - there were some pretty intense meetings this past year - BUT GOD. Remember, God is writing this young man's story...God brought into our lives - my life in particular - an amazing woman, a special education teacher at the charter school where I work - that was able to review, guide and direct me in some very specific areas of Tyler's IEP. Since she wasn't his teacher, it was easy for her and I to be open and honest. In addition to helping me with Tyler's needs, she was also the push I needed to pursue something that has already been in the back of my mind for several years - being a Special Education Teacher. Again, this is part of Tyler's story because without Tyler - I would not have been as passionate about helping not only these students, but also their families.  Tyler kindly refers to this amazing woman, Natalie, as his "lawyer". He is confident that should he find himself in a bind or in need of anything - she is the one to call! We are so thankful to her for being a vital part of our Tyler's story!

There are many types of special needs children - physical, mental, emotional disabilities to name a few. Yet, in our #lifewithTyler we have found that having a child who in many ways appears "normal" is unique and even difficult. Tyler is now 6 ft tall, looks like an average High School student, and in some ways acts like one, however that isn't all there is to him. He processes life on more of a 10 yr old level, expresses himself largely through touching things and people, still struggles to read much of what is around our daily life, etc. This becomes hard for him as well as us as parents because unless you are around Tyler or know his story and his disabilities - you don't get why he acts and behaves the way he does. This past year we had many times when he was in trouble or misunderstood because people simply don't know how to react to a 6 ft 15 yr old that acts like a 10 yr old - I get it, I have to daily remind myself and I KNOW him! Ha ha ha.

Even through these times though - God is faithful. He has given Tyler such a sweet spirit and kind heart! Tyler loves people and animals. He loves encouraging his friends, making all of us laugh, and serving alongside of us in ministry. He lets things role off of him fairly easily - occasionally there is an exception - and just goes on being the fun amazing guy he is! He works hard at school - most days coming home so exhausted that he crashes for 2 or more hours because when your brain is processing things at less than half the speed of the average teen - it is physically draining. Yet - he presses on and continues working through it!

This next school year, Tyler will be attending Vision Charter Academy where both Joel and I work. After a year at this school we fell in love with it and are so excited for Tyler! VCA focuses on an Individual Learning Plan for each and every student that is specifically designed with their interests, goals, learning style, etc in mind. The class sizes are small and we have the opportunity to pick which classes he takes at home and which he will take on campus! He will continue to receive the special education services he needs but also be able to take some general education courses with assignments being fitted to his learning style. I can't wait to see how this chapter of Tyler's life unfolds!

Tyler Bay - we are super proud of you! Happy Birthday month buddy!!!