Feeling so inadequate....

Today is one of those days that I really don't feel up to the task. The task of motherhood that is... I wanted to be home with the kids this summer so that they would not be sitting around all day and we could do some fun things together. In addition, I wanted to keep my home clean and functional - yet today neither of these things have happened.

I know - it is only one day but in an attempt to share my thoughts as well as what the Lord is teaching me I decided to take some time and blog about it a little.

The day started with me waking up before all the kids except Tyler. I was energetic, excited and looking forward to getting some house work done in the morning and meeting a friend in the park for lunch. Then....things changed drastically! The other kids woke up and I got breakfast for them - THEN it happened. I asked them to do some chores....Yep you guessed it - whining, complaining, arguing, etc.

This pretty much sums up how the day continued with a brief intermission while at the park. I would get one argument settled and turn around and the next would start. AHHHHH get me out of here~

However - tonight as I sit here enjoying the peace and quiet (two are at youth group with Dad and the others are thankfully peaceful) and reflect on the day I have to admit - I feel TOTALLY inadequate for this task of being a stay at home mom! I mean I could easily go back to work - hire a babysitter or put the younger two in day camp. Seems like I would be MUCH better at that.

Yet - my day reminds me of how the Lord must feel with me sometimes. He has great plans for me and ideas and dreams. Yet what do I do? I whine, complain, argue, etc. However the difference occurs in how HE reacts vs how I react!!! He reacts with patience, grace, mercy and forgiveness - my reaction has been exasperation, frusteration, impatience and anger....

So here is my lesson for the day: First off - I need to follow MY FATHER's guidance and be obedient to Him. Second - I can learn from HIM in my reaction to the kids. The world may say throw in the towel or punish them tomorrow. However - I am choosing to react as Christ reacts - starting over with grace and mercy and a new day tomorrow!!!

Now - if I can just keep afloat tomorrow....Ha ha. As for working vs staying home - still praying through that not for the sake of getting away from kids but for the financial issues. Thanks for your prayers.