Resurrecting the blog

So, I must admit that journaling has always been a struggle for me! I know that I should do it, I see the value in it and yet I still struggle with it. I think it is mainly because at times my mind just goes too many directions to stay focused! I sit down to write or type and then the phone rings, the kids call, dishes need done, laundry is calling, etc. You get the idea.

However - the past week or so the Lord has kept urging me to just write down my thoughts and my feelings SOMEWHERE! So, since I seem to enjoy the computer the most I have decided to get better about my blog!

One thing I think that has prompted this is simply that I have blinked and life has passed! Seriously! In two weeks, school will be starting again and this is a mile-stone year in a lot of ways. We will have TWO of our four kids in Jr. High! Holy Cow - weren't they just babies crawling around the gym at the Power House? Weren't they the ones I rocked to sleep? Now one of them is 13 and 5'6" tall and the other is 12 and learning how to use a combination lock for his gym locker! Don't get me wrong - I do enjoy the independance that being older brings, it's just that it is hard to swallow the idea that they are growing up!

In addition to that, Kestra and Tyler are changing more and more too! I mean, if the other two have to grow up okay but seriously, do my "babies" have to grow up? Kestra just came in the room and asked me to straighten her hair the first day of school! What happened to pony tails and bows....sniff sniff. Tyler isn't any better as he literally cooked half of dinner tonight with me!

As all four of the kids grow up - I have this incredible sense of urgency. It's as though I realize that truly the time is short for me to instill in them values and morals that are godly and pure. I know some of you are thinking - hello? Your husband is a youth pastor of course they are grounded spiritually. However, I can't help but question if I REALLY do enough. This week, there was this major discussion on my Facebook page, yes I admit I am a FB junkie, about homosexuality. I was amazed to discover that young people who I know are Christians really wonder if homosexuality is a sin. It made me question - am I raising my kids to take a STRONG stand for righteousness or am I allowing them to learn to be 'tolerant' of those who are different. This is just one example of things that I hope I am teaching them. I did ask Hannah her thoughts on the Facebook discussion - she said that she admits and knows homosexuality is wrong but it's complicated. She is pondering and reading the Word though and I know it will speak truth to her.

The other thing that I am really struggling with right now is that I don't have a close friend who is in this same stage of life that I am in. Please don't get me wrong, I have some AMAZING friends in my life and very close ones both here in Bayfield and other places. My struggle is that they either have young preschool kids (Lord bless them!) or they have already raised their kids and want to pass on what worked (which I TRULY do appreciate) but there are days that I just want to talk to another mom of a teenager and say "don't you get sick of them sighing and rolling their eyes!" or to have be able to talk about what it will be like next year with one in HS. I know that there are these people out there and one of the things I have set as a personal goal this year is to seek them and take the time to get to know them! Don't we all just get too too busy we forget about relationships? Anyway, don't mistake me, I LOVE where we live the people we serve with and all of it but when you are past the diapers, potty training, kindergarten, etc it's nice to know that you aren't alone! I DO love my preschool mom friends dearly and I know what it is like to be there - remember I had 4 under the age of 4 in my house!

Okay - well there is something else on my mind but I am not sure I am ready to type about that yet. Perhaps it is better left for an actual journal or another day because I am still processing it in my head. So for now, this will suffice as my journaling!