Some years, November 3 is almost just another day and I can smile and laugh as I think about my wonderful sister and the life and memories I have of her; and then some years November 3 is a painful and sad day as I realize how much of my life she has missed and how much I miss her in it. Most years however - it is a day of reflection and thanksgiving as I ponder on where she is and how one day I will see her there.
I must say that this year has been a little harder for whatever reason. It started over a week ago really. Our pastor also leads the worship in our services and he did a mix with "How Great is Our God" and "How Great thou Art" that was just BEAUTIFUL! I wish that I had it to play here. As I sang - I envisioned her, sitting at the throne of God and for a moment I was just in awe as I saw her there, but to be honest I was also sad because in my selfishness I want her HERE! I want to show her all her neices and nephews, I want to go hunting with her, or camping, or anything! Then - Christ brought me back to the evil and ugliness of this world and asked "Really? You would really wish that she leave the throne of God and return to this?" No - I can't say that I would...
I wouldn't want her to leave that, but today my heart misses her. Hannah has had two basketball games within the past week and those have made me miss her. If you knew Sherri at all - you knew that she LOVED the game of basketball! She played well, she played hard and she played with her all. It didn't matter that she was injured - she played. It didn't matter that she was sick - she played. It didn't matter if her team was down - she played. So, to see Hannah out there playing made me SO wish that Sherri could be here to see her and coach her and help her. A basketball player I am not but Sherri did try to make me one! I have told my kids stories and even last night I told Hannah how her Aunt Sherri would have been proud of the "mean Hannah" under the basket. I think Hannah has a tad bit of her Aunt in her - she's competitive in a BIG way and Sherri was as well.
Yet even though there is sadness today, I want to be able to say "It is well, with my soul" and this I can say because I know that one GLORIOUS day we will stand before the throne of our Savior as a family and sing "HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD" I don't know when that day will be but it will be!
Sherri loved life, she loved living, she loved running, she loved helping, she loved working, she loved basketball, and yes despite what I may have thought - she loved me! Today is not a day to be sad and think of all that I did not have with her - today is a day to be thankful for what I DID have with her. To know that I have a sister waiting to greet me with a smile and a "smack" on the head when I reach Heaven.
Many have asked if it gets easier with time. To that, all I can say is that each year is different - some (like this one) are harder than others but all the time she is with us in our hearts and we can know that we were loved by and able to love a wonderful person known as Sherri Sue Ashcraft!
With that in mind, I am going to make the choice to reflect and be thankful for the 19 years I had with my amazing sister!!!
4 comments:
Thank you so much for sharing that Ronnie. You write beautifully and that was so encouraging. i have never thought of it in the fact that "why would you want them to leave the throne of God?" Very cool. I hope you have a blessed day my friend.
I don't think I knew (or maybe remembered) that you lost a sister.
Thinking of you and praying for you in this day as you remember your sister, Sherri.
Amy - to be honest this was the first time I had thought of it in those terms as well. No way would we wish our sisters to leave Christ's side! Keeps it in perspective.
Tina - It was the fall of my Junior year at Wayland. Thanks for the prayers!! Love ya!
This made me cry. I love you, my friend. Very human response, I beleive, to want our loved ones HERE!! Thank you so much for sharing:)
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