A heartbreaking trend...

The past several months Joel and I have had heavy hearts as we have seen more and more marriages either falling apart or ending. It is heartbreaking to observe so many we know hurting and experiencing the crumbling of their marriage.

As we have seen this and walked alongside some, we couldn't help but ask ourselves what is happening and what can we do to stop it? It seems to be that divorce, separation, or living in the same house with no real love or joy are now becoming the norm and it is frightening to say the least. What is even more alerting is the fact that these are not marriages among those who don't know the Lord but they are Christian marriages, marriages where God was the center at one point but He has been removed or put on the outskirts.

Although we don't have the all the answers and we are certainly continuing to learn in our own marriage - we do feel that God in His Word has a LOT to say about marriage and we have learned some lessons in our own marriage that have strengthed it and we believe have helped us withstand the storms of life.

My heart in particular has been so heavy with the hurt that I have seen women go through and so I would like to just share with you all some truths that I have seen work in my own marriage. I am hoping to do this through a series of posts within the next week...

Truth # 1:
In order for marriage to truly work, it must be based with God in the center. I have seen no better illustration of this than the picture of a triangle. As you look at a triangle each of the two sides reach toward the top or the peak. Replace the sides with a man and woman and God at the peak. As a man and a wife grow and become closer to God, then they will become closer to one another. It is inevitable. Unfortunately, what we often do is stay at the base and expect our husband or wife to come to us. We focus on what WE need and what WE want and forget to focus on the Lord. As you invest and grow in your relationship with God, He will help you to love your spouse more and more.

Truth # 2:
Closely related to Truth # 1 - Truth #2 is this - Marriage is NOT ABOUT YOU. When we realize that marriage is about our husband's needs and wants first then we can show them the love that Jesus gave us. When God gave His only son - it was not Himself that He was focused on - it was OUR NEED for a Savior. In marriage - we need to esteem our spouse more highly than ourselves. We need to learn to put his needs above our own and in doing so - we will experience a love like no other.

I am going to leave you with those two truths for now. My prayer is that no matter where your marriage is - whether strong and firm or whether falling apart - you will take the time to pray about these truths and what God wants to show you through them. Please feel free to either e-mail me arringtonmom@yahoo.com or post a comment about how Joel and I can pray for your marriage specifically and know this - you are not alone. Every marriage goes through hard times, every person hurts - it is what we do when these times come that makes the difference. Will you turn your marriage, your hurts, your pain, your life over to the ONE who can heal and restore?