A matter of priorities...

Should my daughter play softball with this travel team, or should she play with the local team? Should my son be in baseball all summer or should he not? Should Sally be on the dance team or maybe ballet? Should we enroll in this camp or that one? What about the extra batting lessons or the fielding lessons? Volleyball camp or Church Camp?

Do any of these questions sound familiar? Do they resonate just a tad bit with you? I know they do with me! If your family is anything like ours then you and your kids are faced with a myraid of decisions as to where to invest their time and your money! I hear it and see it all the time.

We live in a community that is SPORTS focused. We really do! If you aren't 100% involved in at least one sport or more, you are guaranteed to be made fun of, feel left out, and pretty much not be "successful" in the eyes of your peers. Further more, if you don't go to camps, lessons, extra practices, or if you miss a game - you are pretty much guaranteed to "sit the bench" or be cut from the team. It is what it is and I wish I was exagerrating but I'm not.

As Joel and I have seen these questions and choices come up not only in our family but in the families that we minister to and serve alongside - an uncanny trend has come to light for us....we have had to evaluate our priorities and decide what it is we really want our kids to be successful at and where we want to invest our money - and yes, it is an investment!

I recently heard of one family that has spent upwards of $9,000 dollars in the past year on lessons, equipment, camps for their daughter's softball training. Another family I know has spent around $10,000 in dresses, fees, traveling, etc for the pagents that their daughter is in. These are just a few examples I could go on and on and tell you more but I think you get the idea.

For us, spending that much money really isn't an option - we don't have it! However, we have had to make choices as far as how we do spend the money we have and even more so how we spend time! I grew up, and perhaps you did to, when Sundays and Wednesdays were church days and there were no sporting events on those days - period. 9 times out of 10 if your school was on a sports trip you came in LATE Saturday night to allow for church - just the way it was. However, that is no longer the case...Now there are not only GAMES on these nights and days but there are practices scheduled during regular church times...the reasoning "playing sports has its costs."

Really? At what cost am I willing to sacrifice my child's spiritual growth, our family time, our service to others? These are the things that get "sacrificed" when we give into the world's belief that being successful in athletics or clubs is what will make our children successful in life. Not to mention the thousands of dollars of debt that so many families are in simply by "doing whatever we have to" in order for their child to be successful.

While browsing some of the regular blogs I read, I came across this quote, "I am convinced that I can pour nothing greater into the lives of my kids than an intimate knowledge of the Grace of God that flows from His loving heart." THIS is what I want to invest in - I want my children to know and share the grace of God Almighty! Can they do that and play sports or dance or do pagents? ABSOLUTELY! However, I do not at any point in time want the priority to shift from God to activities - it MUST remain in balance.

Our family faced this firsthand during softball season this year - Kestra's team had a tournament that would be all day Saturday and all day Sunday. To play just one day was not an option - the coach made it clear "You must play all games both days to be a part." Now, I am not going to lie - I LOVE Kestra being in softball and frankly she's pretty darn good given the limited experience she has had in it. I also wanted her to "fit in" just telling you how it is. Yet, I knew that I couldn't say yes without talking to Joel. His first instinct was "No, we don't compromise Sundays and worship." yet we really struggled - it was a one time deal right? Not like she was doing it EVERY week. What would missing one Sunday hurt? In the end, Joel explained to Kestra (and to me) that giving in "one time" will make it harder and harder. We have to take a stand for what we know is right. Kestra was fine and just bounced off down the hall - me, well I knew it was right but I was bummed. Finally, after some prayer I did get over my "pity party" and trusted the Lord AND my husband to do the right thing. The end result - there were no teams with enough players to enter the tournament, it got cancelled! The lesson - when we keep our priorities right, God blesses!

In ministry we are seeing this priority battle more vividly than ever before. Families are feeling the pressure to chose between church on Sunday in the summer and baseball tournaments, pagents, etc. Even when the games aren't on Sunday - many go LATE on Saturday nights to where families are dragging in their doors at midnight or later and then simply "too worn out" to go worship on Sunday morning. The same is happening when it comes to church camps - due to time and money restraints choices have to be made between sports camps and church camps and all to often - sports are winning.

Don't misunderstand me - I am NOT saying that a church camp is the solution to all your child's spiritual needs, nor am I saying that just going to a church service is all you need either. What I AM saying is this - IF we are compromising our children's spirtitual development for ANY OTHER thing - we are letting them down and leading them astray. It's as plain and simple as that. IF WE AS PARENTS AREN'T showing them that our relationship to God and obedience to HIS WORD comes before ANYTHING else - then WE are responsible for their lack of relationship with God.

The writer of Hebrews must have seen a similar trend when he penned these words, "And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near" You see, so many Christians are neglecting the meeting together in order to meet societies expectations! We are making our excuses Sunday after Sunday after Sunday and before long, it's no longer a question of if we will get up and go to church - we don't! If we don't have some event scheduled then we are so tired from going going going all week and weekend that we decide Sunday is our down day, a day we can "just stay home as a family"

WAKE UP CHRISTIANS! Really? You want to teach your children that staying home is more important than obedience to the Word of God which tells us to NOT forsake the worshipping or gathering together as a family of believers? It doesn't say "stay home and worship as a family" it doesn't say "come worship as long as you aren't too worn out"! If I am stepping on toes, then know this - mine have been crushed a lot recently about this issue. You may say, "yeah right, your husband is a minister you are expected to be there" and right you are BUT how many times do I not reach out to someone in need because it's "our only night at home" or how many times have I debated to give to missions because it's "just not in the budget" or how many times have I wanted to send Joel on Sunday night because we are all worn out, and on and on.

Here's what hit me this week - I want to raise children that:
1. Know and have an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ
2. That long to serve Him in any means He calls them to
3. That see other's needs as more important than their own
4. That see the value and importance of missions whether at home or abroad.
5. That DO ALL things as unto the Lord
6. That know that being an active member of the family of God through a local church is more than a passing though - it is a direct command of God.

That's it people - if they are good in academics then thank you Lord, if they are successful at a sport then Lord please use it for your glory but MY priority, MY job, MY goal in raising them is to instill in them these 6 truths so that when they are old they will not depart from it.

As I talked with Joel about this issue I made the comment to him "Do you realize that $9,000 would easily pay for half of our family to go on a short term missions trip?" You see, I would rather spend the money I have allowing my children the opportunity and blessing of experiencing a mission trip or growing from church camp than any lesson or sports camp out there! That is what will make an eternal difference!

HOW WILL YOU USE YOUR TIME, MONEY, RESOURCES FOR AN ETERNAL IMPACT? WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR KIDS ABOUT PRIORITIES