I spend about 75% of my time with preschoolers and their moms. The remainder of my time I am with my own 4 teenagers, their friends, their friend's parents, etc. As I have watched moms of children of all ages from birth to teen, as I have listened to the things they aren't really saying, as I have read the posts they are sharing, the ideas they are pinning to Pintrest - I am hit with the truth - so many times us Moms feel as though we aren't making a difference, we are just spinning our wheels trying to keep up, we are going through the motions and often have little to show for it...To some it up - we are wondering "Do I matter? Is what I am doing really important?"
The simple answer - YES!!! The more complex answer - YES!!! The little things you do everyday as a mom are really making a difference, they are impacting lives, they are changing the world, and they are making a difference in the Kingdom of God. I know, I know you are thinking "Seriously? Like how is changing the 5th dirty diaper today REALLY changing the world?" Here is how - you are showing an unconditional, sacrificial love for another. You are showing that even in the dirtiest of jobs - you can share love and care. For the mom who is dealing with a pre-teen child who is constantly arguing, complaining, cocking an attitude and you have grounded them for the 5th time THIS WEEK...You are showing that respect is earned, that consideration and kindness are essential in life, that one day a bad attitude could be the loss of a job.
You see - we have been taught a lie for many many years as Moms; actually several lies but one essential one that I was reminded of this week - we have been told we are raising children. NO!!! We aren't raising children - we are raising ADULTS! Yes, you heard me. Our ultimate end goal is not to have a well mannered child; when my daughter moves to college this coming August I am not dropping off a child. I am dropping off an adult. Friends - this is a game changer! All the sudden instead of thinking in terms of a well-rounded child; I need to think in terms of a God fearing, productive, responsible, trustworthy, educated, compassionate, loving, caring adult. Do you see the difference?
If you're like me, that just really overwhelmed you and maybe was even a bit sobering to you. Good! Because I want you to realize that this path of motherhood, this journey of raising adults, this season of life - it's important, it matters and YOU matter! What's really amazing about this journey though and what really is my saving grace - We aren't alone! God didn't leave us to walk this path all on our own. First and foremost - He is there, His Word is our guide. Second - He has given us friends to walk alongside us, to encourage, to be honest with us, to hold us up when we are weak, to join us. I am so very thankful for that aren't you?
Just this morning a friend posted an article to Facebook about being lonely as a mom - and yes, there are times that it just is lonely but it really doesn't have to be. You see, the thing about us women, us moms, is that we tend to believe that we are to have it all together - that we can't admit that our day is rough. We get on social media and we see these cute pictures and posts and we believe that if we are vulnerable and honest then we will be considered a failure or let down. The reality is this - those moms posting those pictures and posts, they have bad days too! Yep - secret is out! You see - Facebook would look A LOT different if we decided to just be honest and real. Yet - we don't and the result is that at the risk of being vulnerable and transparent - we hide, we isolate and we become lonely. Can I just encourage you? Be open, be honest, be transparent - you will be surprised at what a relief it is to you and to other moms around you!
Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6
We are "training" our children - this means there will be successes but their will be setbacks. There will be good days and there will be bad days. It's a process - but the end result? That MATTERS and they need us in their corner from day one and for the remainder of their lives!
So, here's to you MOM - YOU MATTER!
2 comments:
I just love this post! I'm not a mom yet, but I do love my mom an awful ton!! She has made such a big influence in my life. I don't know where I'd be without her. She played such a big role in my spiritual journey, and I can't wait to be a mom like her one day. Your post reminded me of a quote I really like from a devotional talk by Jeffrey R. Holland, he said "The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. The young years are often those when either husband or wife—or both—may still be in school or in those earliest and leanest stages of developing the husband’s breadwinning capacities. Finances fluctuate daily between low and nonexistent. The apartment is usually decorated in one of two smart designs—Deseret Industries provincial or early Mother Hubbard. The car, if there is one, runs on smooth tires and an empty tank. But with night feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young mother is simply fatigue. Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island.....Mothers, we acknowledge and esteem your faith in every footstep. Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever....One young mother wrote to me recently that her anxiety tended to come on three fronts. One was that whenever she heard talks on LDS motherhood, she worried because she felt she didn’t measure up or somehow wasn’t going to be equal to the task. Secondly, she felt like the world expected her to teach her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the Internet—all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like “goo goo.” Thirdly, she often felt people were sometimes patronizing, almost always without meaning to be, because the advice she got or even the compliments she received seemed to reflect nothing of the mental investment, the spiritual and emotional exertion, the long-night, long-day, stretched-to-the-limit demands that sometimes are required in trying to be and wanting to be the mother God hopes she will be.
But one thing, she said, keeps her going: “Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him."
In light of that kind of expression, it is clear that some of those Rhode Island–sized shadows come not just from diapers and carpooling but from at least a few sleepless nights spent searching the soul, seeking earnestly for the capacity to raise these children to be what God wants them to be. Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do."
I knew then and I REALLY know now...it was the greatest work of my life. My legacy.
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