Saturday, September 24, 2016

My "Tribe"

I have seen them and I am sure you have too - the posts or blogs about a woman having her "tribe" - the group of friends that she shares life with and who are there in a pinch if needed, go out for a regular girls night, etc. 

Being honest here, I have always been a tad jealous of these posts because honestly I didn't feel like I had a tribe around me. For the better part of our 21 years of marriage, we have moved and transitioned. This makes in depth meaningful relationships H.A.R.D. Yes - I have had women that I have done a ladies night out with - usually as part of women's ministry- and I have had some that are my choir parent buddies, or my Bible Study buddies, or sports parent buddies, etc. Sprinkled in through the years there have been one or two friends that really are meaningful and in depth but never a group...

Recently, as I was struggling through a friendship that has shifted and changed for numerous reasons, I found myself literally crying out to the Lord asking why I didn't have a "tribe" of my own. Where were these friends that were supposed to be there through the good, the bad, and the ugly of life? What was wrong with me that I didn't have this? I know - a tad on the overreacting side but bare with me because I want you understand where I was with this. 

So, in my prayer/crying fest to the Lord mourning the loss of this particular friendship - He clearly reminded me of something that I was not seeing. I DO have a tribe! Many years ago, before Joel and I were married and when I was still in college - God blessed me with four friends with whom I have a close and tight relationship with. You see these gals - we TRULY have walked life together...let me share with you a few of the things that we have walked through together - 

*Dating and Marriage
*Pregnancy Struggles and births of children
*Depression for either ourselves or those close to us
*Loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, and loss of a spouse
*A parent with Alzheimers
*Bankruptcy and recovery from it
*Pain and success in ministry situations
*Broken friendships (other than this group)
*Struggles with our kids
*Second marriage and all that brings

You see, these four - they make up my "tribe"! When I have something exciting to share - they are my go to group, when sorrow or devastation hit they are my go to group, when I am hurting or lost they are my go to group - they are my TRIBE! While I was looking for something different - they have been there all along - we live in four different states, have kids in varying stages of life, but yet we are still as close as though we were all still sitting in one of our dorm rooms or apartments and talking in person. 

I share this with you because maybe you are looking for a tribe. Maybe, like me you think that surely this tribe needs to look like the posts or blogs you read. However, MAYBE like me you have a tribe - it just looks a little different than someone else's. 

It is my firm belief, that we were created for relationships and in person relationships that are deep and meaningful. It is still a prayer of mine that God will open up the door for a local group of friends with whom I can do life with, have fun with, be couple friends with, and be real with - yet, I know with all my being that God blessed me with the best tribe of friends who are so willing to walk through the good the bad and the ugly! 


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