Whew...this week has been really good but also really busy! I can't believe that tomorrow is Friday and this really is the first time I have had a chance to sit and catch my breath!
There has been a running theme the past few weeks in what the Lord has been teaching me and laying on my heart in various ways - that is the need to establish and work on actual FACE TO FACE relationships! I am not talking about e-mail friends, Facebook friends, tweets, or even phone conversations. I am talking about getting out there and developing live friendships and relationships with both believers and non-believers. I am not even talking about acquaintences or a quick hi or hug at church on Sunday morning. This is about INVESTING time, SACRIFICING time, and even perhaps making ourselves VULNERABLE...YES I said it - I said that we need to make ourselves vulnerable in order to be relevant and relate to others.
Ok - maybe I should back track and say that this is what I NEED to do...and maybe I am not alone in this. You see, as "busy" as I may seem to be, and as "outgoing" as some think I am - I have a fear of others seeing the REAL me. The me that sometimes yells at my kids when I know it's wrong, the me that lacks faith for the Lord's provision even though He has proven Himself faithful time and time again, the me that struggles to have a quiet time even though it makes every day so much better, or the me that struggles to maintain a balance between home and ministry. This is the me that I am fearful to expose in real life but yet it is also ME and the Lord has challenged me to be OPEN and HONEST with others in real life situations face to face...
Please don't get me wrong - technology has opened so many doors for us to communicate and reach others in so many great areas. However the risk that we face is that not only do we become isolated in our homes and offices but we as a society are losing the ability to interact with other people. One great example - two teens sitting next to each other in the lunch room. Both have their heads down and are frantically typing away on their phones - what are they doing? Not just texting but texting to EACH OTHER! What!!??? Can we not actually TALK to one another. Ok - so perhaps you are thinking - well that's just teens not adults. Another great example - this time ME...another mom in church is struggling with her homelife, kids, work, etc. I sit at the computer and type her an ever so encouraging post on Facebook when what needed to happen was to pick up the phone and ask - "When can we get together for coffee (or coke in my case)?" This is what is happening all around us and it is time to put a STOP to it!
For me, the excuses are endless. They range from kids' schedules are crazy, I haven't had a night at home, well it's much quicker to e-mail, I need to get stuff cleaned at home, etc. Again - I am not saying that we never have a night at home or that we neglect our kids' schedules (although perhaps we have allowed them to get TOO busy). What I AM saying is that PEOPLE are always more important than our agenda. Sometimes we need to put OURSELVES aside and invest in the lives of others.
Perhaps this is a bit of a soapbox but that is not at all the intention. It is simply something that the Lord has really laid on my heart for me to examine and change as well as encourage others to do the same. I KNOW that we get hurt when we open ourselves to others - boy do I EVER know it. I have tears in my eyes right now as I reflect on the pain that others have placed on me and my family when we were open. However - I also know this - God NEVER intended us to isolate ourselves for any length of time from other human beings. He NEVER intended us to hide behind a computer or phone and pretend that we have friends. He called us to get out and interact with people, to love people, to invest in relationships, etc.
How do we do this? Well I don't have it all figured out but I want to share with you what I have felt led to do so far:
1.) Disciple other women. Be committed and persistant in meeting once a week with 2 -3 women and help them grow in their faith.
2.) Have a once a month ladies night JUST FOR FUN! Right now this is taking the form of a Bunco group starting in Feb.
3.) Invite another family over for dinner AT LEAST once a month. Preferably this will be people that we don't know well or want to get to know better but to open our home and our table none-the-less.
4.) STOP after church and truly take the time to visit with members of our church family. Not a mere hug or wave as we head to the car or round up kids but to truly stop and find out how they are and what is going on in their lives.
5.) Take time for one-on-one time with other women from all walks of life. Yes, my house may not be clean or the laundry may pile up a bit but perhaps that sister needs and extra hug or an ear to listen or a prayer to be said.
6.) Notice when others are absent from church or other functions and take the time to call them and make sure they are ok.
7.) Limit the majority of my Facebook communication to those who are NOT local. Not ignore the local people because hopefully I am interacting with them face to face but to focus FB to those that I am not physically near.
I truly believe that these 7 simple things will open the door to developing real face-to-face relationships. Yes - there are times we need to be alone or with our family BUT that is NOT all the time.
Like I said earlier - technology is GREAT! I love the fact that I have reconnected with friends from college, high school and other places we have lived through FB. I love that I can post pictures of my kids for my family that lives far away to share in their growing up - but I don't believe that God wants us to use it in place of developing real life face to face friends in our community.
This week, I LOVED that I got to nurture a friendship that I believe will turn into a beautiful friendship with another pastor's wife. God blessed us with a lunch for just us girls one day and then lunch together with our spouses the very next day! How cool is that? I am excited to have another sister in ministry who can relate to the good bad and ugly of this crazy walk as a minister's wife! I am praying for more divine appointments like this in the weeks to come. No, I haven't been home a single day this week, my house is a mess, I have tons to do - but I would rather develop a friendship than to have a sparkling house..
"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to others, especially to those who are of the household of faith." Galatians 6:10
2 comments:
But Facebook is my best friend!! How can I give up time wit my best friend!! Just kidding..but sometimes I feel that way because it might be the only connection I have to people that day or week. It's sad! You are right on though with this post and I too will look for opportunities to nurture relationships. I thank God for you!
Wonderful post! I tend to let our busy family schedule causes me to not make time to get face to face with my good girl friends. I need to make that more of a priority too.
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